Page 62 of Back Outside Edge

That boy. Is that what Evan is, now that Dad knows? They've gotten along so well, every time Evan visited. I'd never heard his chuckle as frequently as when they were out on the ice together, playing with step sequences, presentations, transitions.

"That boy," I retort back, trying to match his sharpness, "is my boyfriend." It's the first time I've said the words out loud, and certainly the first time Dad has heard them. He flinches, visibly, and the numbness fades further away, back to the welcome warmth of anger. "He's worried about me. None of this is his fault."

"If he hadn't seduced you, none of this would have happened."

Is that the story Dad's telling himself? That Evan seduced me? Am I supposed to be some poor little innocent who was taken advantage of? "Dad!" It's enough to have me sitting up straight. "What the fuck?" Normally, I try to keep my cursing in check when I'm around him, but sometimes, he deserves it.

His face closes up even more, the stubborn lines I've long since learned aren't worth arguing with appearing in his forehead. "Tkyhyy, syn. Let us work."

Guess I should've watched what I wished for, because that version of syn wasn’t even close to the one I wanted.

So, as usual, I turn to Mom for help. She's the peace-keeper of the family. The only one who can talk Dad down when he looks like this. And then I just stare at her, stunned. She must be on hold with the lawyer, since she’s scrolling through my phone. Reading my messages. The ones with Evan? "Mom!" I manage to get out, horrified. This is an invasion of privacy that she's never done before. Not even in my asshole teenager years.

She holds up a finger, silencing me as easily as Dad's frown lines.

I feel like I'm a child again. Like I can't do anything right. My parents are mad at me. I'm in a corner crying, and nothing I can do will make it better. I need them to smile at me, but the only surefire way to make them do that is to skate well. It’s always worked. My whole life, the best way to make them happy was to succeed on the ice.

The most upset I’ve ever seen them was when I got suspended from Worlds two years ago. Even after the Olympics, they were sympathetic. The suspension almost got me kicked out of the family.

It wasn’t until the suspension was finished and I was back on competition ice that the glaring stopped.

Which means I have to be able to participate in this event. And I have to win it. Convince them I’m not the fuck-up, the one-trick pony with an anger problem, that I am.

But what can I do to make that happen? To help myself?

Is there anything?

The lawyer must start talking again, because Mom answers, then hands my phone back to me. Is her face a little softer now, or am I just grasping at straws? She gives my head a pat before she walks away, and my heart stops. Does that mean she approves? Is she ok with my relationship?

Thank fuck Evan and I never got around to exploring my kinks via text. I doubt she'd approve if she saw him ordering me around or something. Even though I know it’s not his thing, just something he does because I like it.

Because Evan is amazing and wonderful and everything good in the world. Since I have my phone back, I assume that means I'm allowed to text my boyfriend.

Me

Not really, but doing my best

His response comes almost instantly.

Evan

Thank God! I was so worried about you. Where are you?

Me

My parents' room. They're talking to lawyers and stuff

Evan

You're missing your training session.

Shit. Has it been that long already? My training session wasn’t until one. But yep, my phone tells me that’s the time.

I glance up at my parents. Neither of them is paying any attention to me, and I don’t think I want to draw it. But I need to get out of this room, onto the ice. I need this session. "Dad," I ask, tentatively. As if I'm not a twenty-two-year-old man who ought to be capable of running his own life and dealing with his own problems.

"What?" He turns to face me and those furrows are still in his brow. Fuck.

"Am I allowed to train today? Because I'm missing my ice time."