Page 20 of Rising Star

Because the attraction I felt for Lisa never even neared the one I felt for the girl in front of me. And one day it would have caught up with us. She just accelerated the process. In the most heartless and worst possible manner.

This one was on me.

The impulsive side of me just confirmed to my kids’ nanny, in not so many words, about all the nasty things I wished to do to her. Not only did I speak them, but I thought them. Been thinking them for months.

A feeling I never experienced before adhered to my heart. It made me feel small. Without another glance at her, I pivoted on my heels and vanished inside, leaving a flabbergasted Madison behind.

Now I would have to burn my hoodie because I bet the scent of her would forever cling to the fibers.

At seven, I woke the girls up, relishing the distraction they’d bring me.

I lifted them both in my arms and carried them downstairs, pretending to be a big bad wolf about to take them to my secret lair.

“Did you make breakfast?” Mikaella asked, her eyes half-mast from sleep and her hair tangled.

“It smells gooood,” Justine sang, looping her arms around my neck and kissing my cheek.

“I did.” I plopped them on stools at the kitchen island.

“Where’s Maddie?” Mikaella asked.

“I’ll get her,” Justine said, climbing off her seat and running toward the guest bedroom before I could call out her name.

“Wait for me,” Mikaella said, running after her sister.

With my elbows on the countertop, I rubbed my palms over my face.

After I argued with Madison about her poor choice of clothes earlier, she had returned to her bedroom and had yet to come out. I already feared she would parade in a tiny bikini just to disturb my mind even more. And to prove a point. That she was unattainable. To someone like me. Especially to someone like me. A single dad with young children trying to resuscitate his dead music career with an attempt to tour the country. Not the perfect match for a beautiful, barely adult woman with dreams of her own and her whole life in front of her.

With my newfound caveman attitude and Madison moving in, my stupidity level around her had multiplied by ten. I had lost my mind, and I kept rolling on, piling up mishaps. Starting with kissing her, sleeping in her bed, and spilling my dirty thoughts.

Everything she did or said pushed a button in me. It messed with me. She wasn’t the problem, though. None of it was her fault. I blamed the tour. It got me anxious. It would all go back to normal when I found my footing again. Or maybe I could blame Riley. For putting all these silly ideas in my head and placing Madison on my path.

The girls came back two minutes later, pulling Madison.

“Sit beside me,” Justine said.

“No. Maddie is sitting next to me,” Mikaella argued.

A wide smile lightened up Madison’s face. “I’ll sit in the middle. That way, you’ll both be by my side.”

Justine hopped around with a contagious grin.

“Who’s gonna sit next to me then?” I asked, arching one brow, my eyes traveling between my daughters.

“Me.” My baby girl raised her hand. “I’ll sit beside you too, Daddy.”

I moved one seat to my left to let the three of them sit beside one another.

The conversation flew easily, but an invisible wall had risen around Madison and me.

She had changed into dark jeans and a white tank top. Madison wearing something of mine earlier had mattered to me. And I kinda missed the vision of her dressed in my hoodie. I wouldn’t object if it was all she ever wore from now on. My thoughts were conflicted. Desire tangling with reality had become a big web around my sanity I had no clue how to escape. With a heavy sigh, I made conversation with my children instead of entertaining the images playing in my head.

“Girls, Daddy is going away for two nights. Just like we discussed. Maddie will stay here with you.”

“Is she gonna sleep in your bed?” Mikaella asked.

My brows shot to my hairline.