Page 59 of Rising Star

With every passing hour, my positivity was draining away bit by bit. Each time I woke up with a start and screamed in agony, I moved further and further away from my own self.

A new bout of agony traversed my body, and I had to clutch my pillow with a death grip. I lashed every curse into the soft cotton until it released me. Scorching tears prickled the back of my eyes. My pulse hastened, and I could barely suck in any oxygen through my clenched teeth while I waited for the tremors to subside. Aware they’d be back soon, ready to haunt my days. This happened every few hours. A vicious cycle.

Yesterday, Sam came to visit me and left within a few hours. He had spent every minute by my side, lying beside me and shielding my body from the outside world as his arms enveloped me. I fought with myself the entire time to pretend I wasn’t affected by his presence. Now that he was gone, I had a hard time not missing him. I still hadn’t seen the girls. When I told Sam, I had changed my mind and wasn’t ready to face them yet, hurt flashed in his eyes. He said nothing. Just nodded.

Deep down, I knew that if they made the trip to see me, and once they left, I’d be heartbroken. Even my soul would have a hard time letting them go. For now, I chose to keep them at a distance. We video chatted twice, and it was about all I could manage for now.

Jeremiah, the nurse on duty, peeked his head through the ajar door. “Madison, dear, there’s someone to see you.”

I wiped my runny eyes with my sleeve.

Before I could refuse, the door opened, and Jacob stood there.

I gulped a big intake of air. “You? No. No. You can’t be here. Why? You should go. I’m not in the mood to see you right now.”

Images of our last time together flashed in my head.

“Maddie—"

“Jake, what do you want?” I tried to push myself to flip onto my side and winced. Soon Jacob had his hands around me and helped me to change position.

“Hold on to me. Let me help you,” he said. Just the sound of his voice created a tsunami inside me.

“Thank you,” I mumbled. “Why are you here? Who told you?”

He cleared his throat. “I ran into Becks two days ago. He thought I knew. I called Emily, and she told me what happened. I’m sorry, Maddie. I know how much this tour meant to you. It hurts me to see you in pain.” He took a seat in the chair next to the bed. “Wanna tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?”

Averting my eyes, I refused to talk for the longest time.

“Maddie. Don’t keep it all inside.”

“Why should I tell you shit? You flushed me from your life, remember? You kicked me out of your car in the middle of the night.”

“That’s not how it went down,” he argued.

“You didn’t want me there. Same result. You pushed me out of your life.”

“Maddie—”

“Don’t Maddie me. We haven’t talked in months unless you count that phone call where you asked me to drop everything and run back to you. You were my best friend, Jake. My closest friend. I confided secrets to you I never told anyone else. I thought you had my back. And because I couldn’t return your feelings, you acted like I never mattered to you. You broke my heart. Big time. And now that I’m confined to a bed, you swish back into my life and act like we’re fine. News flash, we’re not.” I paused. “Nothing goes the way it should. It’s all a big clusterfuck.”

He hung his head and said nothing. His back curved forward, and I could tell I hurt his feelings.

“I don’t want to be angry with you,” I said, my voice having lost its previous edge. “But I’m not sure how to be friends with you anymore. Or if we can salvage what we once were.”

A yawn left me, and I shifted on my pillow, my eyelids heavy. Jacob stood to pull a blanket over me. The same one Sam had brought to the hospital because he noticed it was my favorite one.

Jacob sat back without a word.

“Sam and I, we’re together,” I said, unable to keep my eyes open, the painkillers finally doing their job.

“I figured. We’ll talk later. Now sleep. Rest will help you heal faster. I’m staying right here. I promise. I’ll watch over you. Let me do this. I need to do this. Please.”

“Fine.”

I heard the distinct sound of Jacob swallowing, but he added nothing as I surrendered myself to sleep.

I woke up hours later to Jacob reading beside me.