Page 71 of Rising Star

I loved Sam Stevens behind the broodiness and all the walls he had built around himself when I first got to know him. I fell in love with him when I discovered how generous and beautiful the heart he hid inside was. Yes, even when I tried to convince myself it wasn’t reciprocated, I still loved him. As simple as that. What I felt for Sam could only be defined as a one-of-a-kind, I-have-no-words-to-describe-it kind of love. One that lived under your skin. That rattled your soul. That called to you in the middle of the night when you woke up with a start because you thought you’d lost it. One that left you breathless. The intensity of my feelings for him was still disconcerting and foreign. Being here right now catapulted the truth in my face about how much I’d missed him and how much of a fool I’d been for keeping him at arm’s length.

I froze when Sam walked offstage, handed his guitar to Rocky, and uncapped a bottle of water that he drank in one gulp. After he wiped the sweat from his face with a towel, he took his place behind the piano. I spotted him from the crack between the curtains.

He looked around as if searching for something he couldn’t see. Could he feel my presence just feet away?

Riveted at the vision of him, I couldn’t avert my eyes. I was bewildered. Entranced. Unable to look elsewhere.

Now that I could watch him, the hurt radiating from him hit me right in the chest. Heavy as a boulder, pressing on my vital organs.

Sam cleared his throat. I blinked.

A force, strong and electric, pushed me forward. Toward him.

His eyes scanned the stage, a frown across his forehead, as if he could sense I was here but couldn’t convince himself it was possible.

With a roll of his shoulders, he shook his head and scratched his temple.

My hands linked together under my chin.

Every second I waited felt like a lifetime.

The butterflies in my belly whirled at a dizzying speed.

The lights turned off, replaced by a single spotlight aimed at him.

Placing his fingers over the keys, Sam took a big inhale while I held my breath to not miss a word.

I’ve been turned to stone long ago

I can’t feel the sun warming my skin

I can’t feel the raindrops on my face

I’m numb. So numb.

My heart is locked up in a cage

No one is allowed inside…

On my crutches, I stood and followed the sound of his voice. The pull he possessed on me. The galvanic lure I had no idea how to escape.

Sam had written me another song. One he agreed to share with the world. An emotional ballad that appealed to every particle of my being. To both my heart and my soul.

He launched the chorus, and I melted some more. Exiting the dark corner where I’d been lying low, I faced him, my lungs shaky with the air I was still holding in.

…The sight of you jolts my heart back to life

Your smile thaws every layer of ice I hide behind

Your touch soothes my sorrows

It heals my pain

Your lips taste like freedom

Your skin feels like passion…

Our eyes connected.