Page 115 of Carnal Wagers

I drummed my thumbs against his arm holding me at the prospect of a much-needed girls’ night out. Hopefully, Erel would spare her for one night.

Cillian’s jaw clenched, and the veins on the back of his hands bulged as his hold around me went rigid. “I’m not leaving you. I’m not leaving her.”

“Killy, this is getting excessive. Arthur and Devin can more than handle her protection.”

I practically growled. “I’ll have you know I’m more than able to protect myself.”

“I know you can.” Cillian squeezed my hand in reassurance of that truth, but the words came out too harsh, chewed up in his growing frustration, to offer any consolation. “I’d reckon half my men don’t stand a chance against you, but I’d rather you not have to.”

“What exactly can you do that they can’t?” Liam argued. “Leave your woman at home. Give her some peace, for feck’s sake. It’s only one night.”

“One night is all it takes.” Cillian’s yell echoed through his office as his fist slammed against his desk. Rage surged through him like I hadn’t seen since that street fight over a month and a half ago, blotching his neck and cheeks red.

“All it takes for what?”

My question went unanswered as the brothers spoke over each other.

They volleyed words faster than I could catch on, their accents thickening to the point I caught one word out of every five, like an English novice, before they started lobbing some Gaelic in there too. After asking a second time and being ignored, I tossed my hands up, wiggled free, and left the office to relax a few minutes away from the toxic blend of physical and virtual testosterone. Their voices roared through the ajar door across the living room and kitchen, like a television left on in the middle of the night.

His brothers probably resented me for taking so much of Cillian’s time, but starved as I was for everything he kept offering, I didn’t really have it in me to care. Neither of them made an effort to get to know me over the last month since I moved in with Cillian. I still hadn’t even met Brody, and Liam only visited when he needed something.

Whatever. I was hungry.

In his large pristine kitchen, I fixed myself a ham-and-cheese homemade baguette sandwich. The scrape of the screw cap against the jar of mayonnaise resounded through the empty space. The rasp of the ham’s plastic wrap opening crackled over the men’s squabbling, and the tap of the knife against the jar clanged loudly. I bit through my sandwich. Even my chewing was loud and overbearing.

Too quickly, I gobbled the rest. Then there was nothing left to do. I traced a line of marbling in the granite and trilled my lips. Tap, tap, clap, my hands slapped in a poor rhythm that would make my musician sister-in-law cringe if she heard it, but she wasn’t here. No one was.

I slouched over the counter, no poise, no grace, just wasting time. My bare feet rubbed against each other for warmth from the chilled tiles. Bored, I thumbed through music options on my phone as Cillian’s angered voice whirred in the background, but none of the songs satisfied my sudden restlessness. With unease scattering jitters over my shoulders, I cracked my neck and shifted in place. What was wrong with me?

The last few weeks had been a nonstop whirlwind of fucking, visits, activities, eating out, talking… This was probably the longest time I’d spent out of Cillian’s company since moving in. He always kept me occupied in one thing or another, usually him.

I jerked upright and frowned. That was it, wasn’t it? I’d gotten so used to his constant presence and the space he took up that a little time alone left me unmoored. Well, shit. When had I turned into such a simp for the man I swore to emotionally wreck?

A notification pinged with a video forwarded by Maeve. I dove onto that lifeline and called her immediately.

“Salut, ma belle.”

“Oh wow,” she responded in greeting.

“That’s a very strange hello.”

“No, just surprised. If you’re calling me, does that mean he finally let you out of your cage?”

I chuckled awkwardly. “Cage?”

“Oh, come on. Babe, he’s been Stockholming you for the last month.”

“We’ve gone out many times.”

“Sure, but on your own?”

I licked my lips, not thrilled where this conversation was headed. “Well, no, but we have been busy. I told you all about it.”

“Right, all by text. We’ve had few phone calls, pretty much all initiated by me. Seriously, if he’s kidnapped you, say red flag right now, and I’ll come save you.”

“You’re ridiculous. It’s been a choice. I’ve enjoyed my time with him.”

“Sure. If you say so.”