Page 30 of Muscle Cub

Austin was serving desserts, and with the size of the crowd, I didn’t expect him to have time for any meaningful interaction with me. I also didn’t want to appear desperate, so I opted to stand in line for a much needed after-dinner coffee instead of dessert.

After I returned to our table, Austin materialized bearing two plates, one with cobbler, one with cake. “We’re supposed to only let you have one kind, but…” He waggled his eyebrows at me before dashing away.

Eric gushed, Lance asked if he could eat my cake, and I eye-fucked Austin across the dining hall until we had to leave to make room for others.

I hoped he would come to the guys’ cabin later.

I attempted a disco nap to sleep off my buzz, but I failed again. All I did was lie in my tent replaying every interaction with Austin and kicking myself for not taking this prescription sooner. I wasn’t really masturbating so much as marveling at my miraculous erection. I toyed with it, edging myself, but I worried an orgasm might diminish my newfound libido. I didn’t want to get off alone if I had another chance with Austin later.

To sober up a bit and refresh my energy, I went for a shower, then headed to Eric and Ben’s cabin. Alex and Noah and a few random campers I didn’t know were there. We sat on their hot tub deck drinking, admiring the crescent moon and Venus above golden clouds in a purple sky.

I hadn’t expected Austin to be there yet, if ever—certainly not before me—but I was surprised not to see Lance. I casually asked where he was, and Alex said, “Off whoring.”

For a horrible moment, I imagined Austin and Lance somewhere together. There was absolutely no reason to think that was actually happening. The thought was more like a lingering echo of the shitty things my ex had been notorious for. Charles had particularly enjoyed fucking guys he perceived as having been interested in me, flirting with me, or checking me out. Whenever he’d cheated, he was never satisfied to hook up with a stranger. He had to make it messy—my high school boyfriend, a friend of my parents, my teaching assistant.

If anything, it was evidence of how much I secretly liked Austin. Even though most of Ben and Eric’s friends wouldn’t even have known to expect him, and Alex and Noah probably couldn’t have cared less, it felt like everybody was waiting for Austin. Ben would never have paid attention to something of personal concern to me unless I’d asked him to, but Eric was definitely as hyperaware of Austin’s absence as I was. He kept offering me drink refills I wasn’t ready for, and as the night wore on, he seemed unable to look me in the eye.

Which made me feel like an asshole, even though Eric was the one trying to turn my one-night stand into some instant love story.

By this point, I’d overheard the claims that it wasn’t uncommon to experience weeks and months’ worth of a love affair in a single day at camp, then be on to someone new the next day. You could potentially fall in love a handful of times in a long weekend.

I wasn’t quick to believe that could happen to me, and as for Austin… Well, it seemed unlikely someone who worked here would fall under that spell, especially so early in the season.

It was his Summer of Lust after all. Surely, he would know to pace himself.

I reset my expectations accordingly.

When it was time to leave for the bonfire and Austin still hadn’t swung by, I decided to let Eric off the hook by being the one to drain my beer, stand, and suggest we head out.

The long-haired blond guy on staff, Luke, was singing and playing guitar beside an unlit pyre in a grassy field in the center of the campground. He was the one I’d seen chatting with the owner at the Cubby Hole and talking to Austin at the bar this afternoon. “Sunshine Kurt Cobain,” Eric called him.

The music was a little on the country side for my tastes, but Luke had a nice voice, and he played recognizable covers, crowd pleasers that could be ironic or earnest—or, intelligently, both. I overheard Eric telling Alex he thought Luke was the real deal.

After the set, people milled around and chatted as a tentative drum circle took over and the bonfire was officially lit.

Austin finally appeared with Luke and eagerly introduced him to Eric, Alex, and Noah. Austin was hoarse from cheering; he was clearly Luke’s biggest fan.

While the guys chatted about gigs and rigs and a flurry of other band-dude terms that went over my head, Austin came to stand near me. He tossed out an apology for not finding us earlier, and when I didn’t respond he hip-checked me.

He was probably attempting to bro-zone me with casual playfulness that I was expected to go along with. No doubt this was how he usually moved on from his hookups so he could remain friends with everyone.

His grin fell when I shot him a nasty scowl.

But instead of backing off, he proceeded to lean against me like a Great Dane. Like he intended to wear me down with puppy energy.

He was still wearing my shoes.

“So what’d’ya think of Luke?”

“He’s definitely talented.”

“I found him busking on the street in Edgewood a few weeks ago and brought him here.”

“Did you now?”

“Sure did.” Austin obviously took pride in discovering Luke, but I was reluctant to give him much attention after he’d finally officially blown me off with one of his trademark no’s that sounded like a maybe. He either didn’t pick up on my coolness, or he chose to ignore it. “What kind of music are you into?”

He wasn’t going anywhere—I didn’t entirely want him to—so with a defeated sigh, I chose to engage. “Alternative. Nineties Grunge. Smashing Pumpkins, Nirvana. That kinda shit.”