Page 25 of The Scottish Island Inn

‘I guess so.’

She raised an eyebrow. ‘What about you? I bet you have a nice place now.’ She changed the subject before Tam had time to ask her anything else about herself. She didn’t want to talk about that. Not yet.

‘Aye. I’ve got a wee place in Portree.’ Tam nodded. ‘I was over in Staffin for a while, then moved.’

‘I… my aunt told me about Beth. I’m so sorry,’ Sorrel said, into the silence that stretched between them.

He nodded again, and looked uncomfortable. ‘Right.’

‘I’m sorry… I didn’t know whether to mention it… I just didn’t want you to have to say it. You don’t have to talk about it at all – it sounds like a terrible thing to happen. I just wanted to say, I know, and I’m so sorry that happened to you.’

‘Thank you. It was really hard. She was… she was a lovely person. I’m sorry. I still find it really hard to talk about.’

‘Of course.’ Sorrel wrapped her arms around herself. She felt so sad for Tam; she wanted to wrap him up in her arms and hug him tight, but she knew that she’d lost the privilege of doing that years ago. Now, she could only ever be an acquaintance – maybe, one day, a friend.

‘Listen, Sorrel. It was a traumatic time, when you left. I won’t deny it, but that was then. Beth was a light in my life that I’ll always be grateful to have had. You would have liked her, I think. But both of those things were then. This is now.’ He held out his hand to her. ‘Truce?’

‘Okay. Truce.’ She took his hand and shook it. She still had a mountain of feelings to contend with, but she wanted to talk to Tam. She wanted to be his friend again.

God, she had missed him so much.

‘Good. I’m glad you’re back.’ Tam squeezed her hand, and let it go. ‘You know, I did miss you like crazy. But you never know where life is going to take you. I never knew that Beth would come into my life, even for the short time that she did. And if you hadn’t left, you never would have had such a successful business. Maybe it was all fate, eh?’

‘I hadn’t thought of it like that before. Maybe. Yes.’ She smiled, feeling the tension leave her body for the first time in days. Tam had that effect on her. He could always make her feel safe.

‘There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be. John Lennon said that.’ Tam looked around him: at the blue sky, and the trees rustling their leaves in the breeze. ‘I think about that all the time. And I make an effort to be grateful that I am where I am, every day. I’m grateful I’m alive, Sorrel. I’m grateful for every day that the sun rises. Because there are no guarantees in this life. That’s what I’ve learned.’

‘That’s beautiful,’ she said; life could feel like it had a surreal sense of humour sometimes, but it could also take your breath away.

‘Life is beautiful, if you believe it can be.’ Tam smiled down at her, his eyes twinkling with warmth. She swallowed hard, looking back up at him, feeling a little dizzy. Being around Tam always made her feel good: safe, warm, positive. She found herself longing for the moment, just days ago, when he’d reached for her hand. If he did it again, she knew that she wouldn’t pull her hand away this time.

THIRTEEN

‘This is nice. A necklace with their initials, and the date of the wedding. What d’you think?’ Heather pointed at a photo in the wedding magazine spread out in front of them both, on the Formica-topped table of the caravan.

‘That’s sweet. But how much will anyone wear a necklace with the date of your wedding on it? Just a question.’ Sorrel peered at the other bridesmaid gift suggestions. ‘What about these nice personalised scented candles? Or look at this. Personalised travel jewellery boxes. They’re super cute. Good for Violet. She’s always travelling.’

‘That’s a nice idea. Maybe I could get them all something different. I like these insulated cups, too. I could put the date of the wedding on the outside.’ Heather made a note on her notepad with a matching pen, both of which featured cartoon owls. Sorrel smiled to herself: she’d forgotten how much Heather loved owls. In fact, Heather loved all animals. She often said animals were nicer than humans.

Sorrel was inclined to agree.

‘Have you spoken to Violet about all of this?’ she asked. She knew that things were strained between Heather and her twin: Bluebell had mentioned it in her last email. Sorrel didn’t quite know what was going on between them, but for twins, they were, on the surface, quite different. Heather was a homebody; Violet travelled the world. Heather liked vintage chic; Violet was ultra-modern. Heather had always wanted to get married and have a family; Violet couldn’t stand the thought of being tied down. Yet they were both exactly as stubborn as each other – and, as tough as Violet liked to appear on the outside, everyone knew that she was just as sensitive as Heather.

‘Not much. She’s hard to get hold of, and when I did talk to her, she was pretty unimpressed.’ Heather sighed. ‘She told me that I was being stupid. That it will end in divorce and that I’m better off building my career and “living my best life” that way.’

‘That’s Violet’s life. Not yours,’ Sorrel said. ‘She can be a little tunnel-visioned, I guess.’

‘Yeah. Well,’ Heather looked up, biting the end of her pen, ‘she’s agreed to be a bridesmaid, anyway.’

Sorrel grinned. ‘That’s good. Are you going to make her wear a chintzy meringue?’

‘No. It’s quite a tasteful evening dress, in a sage green. Um… Sorrel… This is awkward. Everyone is being a bridesmaid. But I didn’t ask you because you weren’t here. Now I feel bad about it.’

‘Heather. You don’t need to feel bad. That’s on me, not you.’ Sorrel focused on the magazine in front of them to avoid making eye contact with her sister. ‘I missed a lot. And I’m sorry for that.’

‘I’d love you to be a bridesmaid, if you wanted to,’ Heather said, shyly. Her long blonde hair was braided into a careful plait that lay over her shoulder; she picked it up and played with the end absentmindedly. ‘If you think you’ll be here.’

‘Honestly? I don’t know what my plans are right now. Everything’s up in the air. I don’t know what’s happening with the business or where I live officially right now, or anything. My goal is just to make sure the Inn can be fixed. I want to help all of our family… I need to help. Sort of to make up for being gone for so long,’ Sorrel said, slowly. ‘Now I’m here, I don’t want to lose you again. Or Bluebell, or Violet, or any of you. But even if I’m not living here – yes, I’d love to be a bridesmaid at your wedding.’