Page 32 of Defensive Indifference

I pull on the door handle, but it’s locked. I try to roll down the window, but it also seems to be under some sort of locking system only controlled by the driver. Koa hits a button and it rolls down, but it’s not enough. I’m drowning, and there’s nowhere to escape the water.

“Pull over,” I bark.

“What? We’re almost—”

“Pull over!”

Koa eases off the road into the parking lot literally behind Sparkly’s. When the car is parked, he unlocks it, and I shove out of the door. Stumbling away from the car, I finally fold in half and suck in a deep breath. With my hands on my knees, I work to avoid a panic attack. I should have seen it coming. With everything weighing on me so heavily, I was due for one. Breath after breath is a fight for my life. The world spins, and I try to sit, but sway.

“Whoa, whoa. Easy,” Koa says. He catches me and eases me to the ground. “What’s going on?”

I shake my head, reach for that next breath. He gives me time to work through it but never releases my hands. Kneeling in front of me, he waits with the kind of patience no one has ever had with me before. His gaze is locked on me as if I might disappear, and his thumbs brush gently over the backs of my hands.

Finally, it passes with focus and deep breathing.

I should forgive him for the things he said that I took all wrong. He wasn’t intending to be thoughtless, I know that, but I can’t take it anymore. I’m tired of fighting. Sick of always losing everything that means anything to me, and the thought of losing my son because I can’t take care of him torpedoes my heart.

“Hey, talk to me,” Koa whispers.

“I can’t,” I choke. “You wouldn’t understand.” With determination, I stand and pull my hands away from him, brush them on my pants, and grab my bag from his car.

“Evalina?”

“I need to get back to the shop. Thanks for the ride.” Without another word, I walk away from Koa and accept my fate. He’s not something I can have, shouldn’t even want, and the sooner I accept that, the better off I’ll be. I have to focus on getting a new job, finding a cheaper place to live, and a car that might last me a few months. There is too much to do, and no time to spare thinking about billionaires.

Chapter Sixteen

Koa

I try not to take it personally, but it took every ounce of my strength to watch Evalina walk away and not run after her. Not barge into her shop and demand that she tell me what just happened. Unfortunately, with the press still sniffing for a story, I can’t take the chance that another scene will break out in Sparkly’s if I follow her, so I convince myself it’s okay. She’s fine, just upset, and if I come back at closing to take her home, she might not be so upset.

At least, that’s the plan until she sends me a curt text message that Annie will be taking her home.

I toss my phone on the coffee table and ice my shoulder. There’s nothing like taking a pitch to the shoulder because you were daydreaming about a woman who seems to hate your very essence no matter hard you work to change her mind. I’ve got to get my mind back in the game or risk angering Quade Dawson. The man is doing more for me and my family than any team owner needs to. I can’t very well repay him by playing like a rookie.

I’m expecting Eleanor any minute to discuss updates on my father’s case, but if I’m honest, I can’t bring myself to care anymore. The part of me that believed in my father’s innocence is beginning to fade with each new piece of evidence presented not only to me, but to the world. Was my entire life a lie? Is my family everything the news says we are?

By the time Eleanor arrives, I’ve already had three arguments with myself about Evalina, my parents, and the future of my career. I’m a mess but manage to pull it together to answer the door when she rings the bell. Today, she’s dressed as a professional. I can’t speak to what was going through her mind when last we met, and it’s none of my business, so I go with this professional stance. She smiles and steps inside with her briefcase, which I can’t help thinking might be her emotional support briefcase more than anything.

“Boy, have I got some interesting news for you. You’re going to want to sit down for this one.” She drops her case on the counter and follows me to the living room.

“Do I need to have Katie here for this?”

“I’d rather tell you what I know and let you handle it how you see fit. It’s big, Koa. I mean, bigger than we could have imagined.”

I take her suggestion and sit with a big bag of ice, unsure if what she is about to say is life-changing in a good way or a blow up my life even more way.

“Your father is working with the feds. This—going to jail, confiscating everything—was all a ploy to make it look like your father was the target. All along, it’s been a cover. He’s been working under cover for over two years, and the lid is about to blow off of this thing.”

Nothing that came out of Eleanor’s mouth makes a bit of sense to me. “I’m sorry, say that again but slower, like I’m five.”

“Long story short, your father is helping to get a money-laundering, human-trafficking jerk off the streets. He couldn’t tell you or prepare you for what was to come.”

“How do you know all of this?”

Eleanor puts her hands up like a solid wall. “I have my ways. Just know that you’ll need to lay low for a bit, try to stay out of the public eye by behaving yourself, and this should go down fast, furious, and without a lot of collateral damage.”

Tell that to my father’s lawyer.