Page 38 of Defensive Indifference

Everything started off great. A movie, dinner, conversation…but when the conversation drifted away from the movie we had just seen, it veered off into a ditch. It isn’t that I don’t want to hear about his day or his work, but he’s been talking for five straight minutes, completely nonstop, perhaps not even breathing. He was rude to the waitress, ignored me when I asked him a question, and hasn’t asked how my day was a single time. The one time he let me get a word in edgewise and I mentioned Dustin, he informed me that we were on a grown-up date and we shouldn’t talk about kids.

Why am I still sitting here? I should get up and walk out, but then I’d need to call someone to pick me up. There is zero chance I’m calling Koa to pick me up from a date gone bad, so I suck it up and pray that it ends soon.

One thing is for certain—this is my last date ever. It’s too hard to think about men as if they could be Dustin’s father figure. I wouldn’t let Nick near my son again for all the money in the world. Actually, I blame Koa for this devastating evening. After all, he’s the one who gave us the tickets to the game that led to a perfectly pleasant time talking with Nick outside of the bakery.

Who am I kidding? I could have declined his date offer and saved myself this misery. I only have myself to blame.

He’s still talking, too. I swear if he ever stops to take a breath, he’ll have to inhale half the air in the room.

The waitress steps up to the table with a plastered-on smile, probably excited that our meal has ended. “Would you like any dessert tonight?” Her tone says everything. Please, please do not ask for dessert.

“No, thank you,” Nick responds without asking me. I would have said no, but he didn’t glance my way, give me a moment to consider, nothing. Koa would buy me every dessert on the menu. Possibly throw them at me, but the point is he’d buy them if I asked.

“Would you like drinks to go?” she asks.

“No. I’d like to pay and get out of here, please.” Nick shoves his card at her and scowls. Geez, he’s not even close to the man who comes to my bakery every day for the same order, nor the one I talked to at the baseball game. This guy? Is a psychopath, and I’m not so sure I want that ride home from him after all.

The poor waitress meanders to the back to process his payment, and I’m positive he won’t leave her a tip.

“I’m going to step into the ladies’ room for a moment. Won’t take long.” Without giving him a chance to respond, I stand and disappear into the back half of the restaurant. When I spy the waitress leaning against a counter, I approach her with a meek smile.

“I wanted to give you this. I’m pretty sure the jerk I’m on a date with won’t tip you.” I hand her a few folded bills and hope Nick isn’t watching. I don’t think he can see us from our table, but you never know.

Her eyes brighten a little and she accepts my offer. “Thank you. That’s so sweet of you. My tip for you is to ditch him asap.”

I chuckle and nod toward the bathroom. “I intend to right after I use the bathroom and get a ride home. This night has been a disaster.”

In the bathroom, I take a second to breathe. What was I thinking? This night has been the biggest waste of time imaginable, taking time away from my son who I hardly see anyway, thanks to long hours at the bakery.

The one I’ll be losing very soon.

Maybe it’s for the best. With a regular nine to five, I’ll have more time free to spend with Dustin. Besides, with the increase in rent on my apartment and the increase in tuition fees, I’ll never make ends meet with Sparkly’s, especially not in a new, pricier location. With a broken spirit, I glance in the mirror to find a worn out, tired woman. Under my eyes shows a darkness that sleep won’t help, but it’s the dullness that really gets me. There’s no sparkle, no life there anymore, and I can’t stand that it’s what Dustin sees every day.

“Are you ready to go?” Nick has shoved his head into the bathroom and stares back at me.

I blink a few times to ensure I’m not crazy. The man really intruded on a five-minute break in the women’s room. If I didn’t need him to take me home, I’d smack his smug, self-servicing face.

“I’m ready.”

I follow him out of the restroom, then out the front door with a heaviness that weighs on my shoulders so painfully, I’d almost prefer walking home. Dragging my rear end all the way across town so I can unload it all piece by piece, but that could also lead to my untimely death at this late an hour, so I stiffen my spine and my resolve and get into his car.

Big mistake. He explains his work to me all the way home…for the third time. Evidently, being a mechanic for rich customers is supposed to impress me, but I haven’t got the slightest clue what he’s talking about. Something to do with integrating AI and all of the best performance this and that. Who knows? Besides, I hate artificial intelligence anyway. It makes people dumb, as evidenced by his inability to pick up on even the heaviest cue that I am miserable.

I thought we had more in common, but I was so, so wrong.

The best I can do now is stare out the window until he pulls up to my apartment.

“Wow, the night sure flew by. I can’t believe it’s almost eleven. Let me walk you to the door.” He says it like it’s a chore, but unclips his seat belt and exits the car, then waits for me at the front. Koa would have come around, opened my door, and waited until I got out to shut it behind me. At least Nick offered to walk me to the door so I’m not attacked by a shadow in the ten feet from his car to the apartment door.

The building light over the main door is blown, so it’s a tad dark. Fortunately, the streetlamp helps illuminate this absolute worm leaning in to kiss me.

No, thank you.

I pull back and smile. “Sorry, I um…I don’t really kiss until—”

“What?” Nick is stunned into stiffness, partially leaned forward, as if I will soon come to my senses and pick up where he left off.

“I said, I don’t—”