Page 81 of Thin Ice

Alex didn't say anything. But his hand came up to Ethan's back and gripped the jacket, and he held on for a few seconds longer than casual, and when he let go his eyes were wet and he wiped them with the heel of his hand and nobody pretended, they didn't see it and nobody made it worse by talking about it.

***

And then it was just us.

Alex and I, skating slowly at the far end of the cove. The sky going gray to purple at the treeline. The ice groaning underneath. Deep creaks that meant the temperature was dropping.

He reached for my hand. I took it. We skated like that for a while, side by side, matching strides without trying, the way our strokes matched in the boat — not something we decided, just something our bodies did when they were close enough. We didn't talk. We didn't need to. The ice held us and the cold held us and his hand was warm in mine and the lake was ours.

We slowed. Stopped near the center of the cove where the ice was smoothest. He turned to face me. My Riverside hoodie under his dark peacoat, his hair messed from the cold, his cheeks raw. He looked like the version of himself that only existed when nobody else was watching.

"I'm going to find a way to make it work," I said. "The tuition, the registration, all of it. We need you. I need you. At school. In that quad."

His face shifted. "Thanks. I just don't—"

"Hey." I put my hand on his jaw. "Stop."

He stopped.

"I care about you so much," I said. "And it's not only that. Being with you in a boat, whether it's a quad or a double, it's the best thing. It's the best thing I've ever done."

He was quiet.

"I know," he said. "My two favorite things. Liam and… Liam." He smirked.

We were close. Face to face, our skates almost touching. I could feel him, his breath, the heat coming off his skin despite the cold, the way his body leaned into mine like gravity had an opinion about us. His hand came to my chest. Stayed there.

"Hey, Liam?"

"Yeah."

His eyes were on mine. Crystal blue, the color they got in winter light, lighter than they had any right to be. His lips parted.

"I..." He swallowed. "I think I..."

He paused.

And it was the way he looked at me, a special look, one he only gave me here and there. He was going to say it. Right here… right now.

My heart started beating faster. Hard and harder. I could feel it in my throat, in my wrists, behind my eyes. I looked at him and I knew what was coming, and every part of me was leaning toward it.

Oh god. I love you too.

The thought quickly turned to that heat in chest. I loved Alex Harrington. I loved him, fuck I loved him. And it felt so good.

Then, his face shifted. Just slightly. A flicker…

"I think we're really great together," he said.

The air came out of me. Not all at once. Slowly, like a door closing on a room I'd already walked into.

I smiled. It was a fake smile. But we were really great together. But I just wanted more, and it scared me that I wanted more. The emotions ran through me so quickly. The moment was there, and it was gone. And I didn't know what — and then we were kissing.

Cold lips. Warm mouth. His hand still on my chest, mine still on his jaw, and the lake stretched out around us in every direction, dark and patient.

It was okay. We both felt it.

I pulled back. Rested my forehead against his.