Page 60 of We Chase Shadows

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Felicity Woollaston feels useless. And feels vulnerable. She doesn’t like either feeling.

The gang will fly to Stockholm tomorrow, then on to Palm Springs, so perhaps they’ll need her for something or other, but, for now, Felicity is wondering what the point of working for a detective agency is when all you do is answer the phone. And when it is so easy to get caught in the crossfire.

She squeezes Tony’s hand, and he squeezes hers. He was back at work today, bandages removed, scars red raw.

And Felicity knows there are plenty of scars she can’t see. Tony was the victim of a serious assault. Sudden and unprovoked. What must that do to a man?

After the attack, Felicity is fully invested in the case at least. She had asked Steve yesterday, ‘I don’t suppose you’ve found and killed Jakob Eriksson yet?’ and was disappointed when he said they hadn’t. She hopes she gets to meet him face-to-face one day. Then we’ll see whose head is bouncing off a brick wall.

Tony is not the type to talk about feelings. Which, honestly, is sort of a relief in this day and age. Felicity had tried the dating apps a few years ago, and men were far more comfortable talking about their feelings than they used to be. Good for them, Felicity supposes, but sometimes it’s nice for a man to be a man. Quiet and brooding. Felicity is quite certain that there is a crisis in modern masculinity, though she feels it’s not really up to her to solve it for them.

But this is different. She loves Tony – goodness, yes, ‘love’ feels very easy to say – and when he is ready to talk about what happened to him, Felicity will be there to listen.

She feels like perhaps tonight’s the night.

They are watching TV, a drama on ITV about a young couple who move in next door to Martin Clunes, but Tony is quieter than usual. For example, the wife of the young couple has just got into her car, and Tony has not said, ‘Ford Puma, looks like a one point five litre.’ So something is clearly troubling him. Felicity scooches a little closer and, without looking at him, says, ‘What’s up?’

‘Nothing,’ Tony says.

‘You looked like you were thinking,’ she says.

‘I was,’ admits Tony.

Tony very rarely admits to thinking.

‘You want to share?’ Felicity asks.

‘You’ll think I’m silly,’ says Tony.

‘I won’t,’ says Felicity. ‘I promise. Nothing you could say would make me think that.’

Tony gives a non-committal shrug.

‘You can tell me anything,’ says Felicity. ‘I mean, wait for the adverts, but then, anything.’

Tony says nothing, but Felicity sees a battle going on behind his eyes. What demons await?

‘It’s just …’ Tony begins, then stops.

Felicity puts her head on his shoulder. On the screen Martin Clunes has opened a drawer with a gun in it.

‘I was thinking …’ starts Tony again. ‘You probably won’t be interested.’

There are groups you can go to, Felicity has googled them. Victim support. She can go with him. ‘We’ll see.’

‘It’s just,’ Tony begins again, ‘do you think if you were invisible, people could see your clothes?’

Felicity sits up a touch. ‘If you were invisible …?’

‘If people could see your clothes,’ says Tony. ‘Because if they could, then what would be the point of being invisible? People would see a coat and trousers moving around.’

‘This is what you’ve been thinking about?’

‘I don’t see how your clothes could be invisible,’ says Tony. ‘So if you wanted to use your invisibility power, then you’d have to wear no clothes?’

‘I’m not sure what …’