Page 9 of We Chase Shadows

‘Never sleep with a German bodyguard,’ says Amy. ‘It’s like having sex with a BMW.’

‘In a good way?’ Rosie asks.

‘Very safe,’ says Amy. ‘Also very fast.’

Steve is thumbing through a rack of vinyl. ‘He’s got some good stuff here. Sabbath, Purple, Priest. I think Mr Blackwood and I are going to get along.’

Rosie had returned Vern Blackwood’s call personally. You could tell he was impressed. Of course I’d be interested in your corpse, Mr Blackwood, do tell me more? Vern it is, then, and you must call me Rosie. A bullet hole through the head? Yes, that certainly qualifies as a murder, doesn’t it? Your bodyguard? Goodness me, what use are bodyguards if they go around getting shot? Would you have any suspects, Vern? Any motives? Or happy to leave that sort of thing to my team?

They were on the private jet two hours later, Steve complaining because he was supposed to be going to a steam fair that afternoon. Rosie notes that Steve has very quickly got used to private jet travel and now brings along his own food. And so it was that, as she and Amy tucked into vegan sushi, Steve asked the steward to warm up a sausage roll he’d bought from the service station.

The room they are in is very beautiful. An elegant sitting room with windows on three sides, Tuscany wrapping around them. The walls are covered in Rosie’s absolute favourite sort of art – expensive paintings, bought by someone with very poor taste. There are no personal items at all, and no photos except for one of Vern Blackwood giving a thumbs-up into the camera with his arm around a snooker player. The snooker player is not looking at the camera, but looking, instead, for an escape route.

Double doors open and in steps Vern Blackwood. Rosie takes him in. Early fifties? You could never really tell with men these days, now they’ve all had their hair and teeth done in Turkey. He is wearing a short-sleeved shirt, which is normally an absolute red line for Rosie, but in Italy the rules seem to be different, so she will give him the benefit of the doubt for now.

‘Here they are, then,’ says Vern Blackwood. ‘We Catch Murderers.’

‘We Solve Murders,’ says Rosie.

‘Although we do catch murderers too,’ says Steve, extending his hand. ‘Some nice vinyl there, buddy.’

‘If anyone made a good record after 1989, I haven’t heard it,’ says Vern. ‘Am I right?’

‘Amen to that,’ says Steve. ‘Although I’ve got Metallica on the phone. They say they’d like a word!’

They both laugh. Rosie and Amy look at each other. It is so often a peek into an entirely alien world when Steve meets a man of his own age. Rosie offers a cheek to Vern Blackwood and he kisses it. She then offers her other cheek, but he steps back.

‘One cheek only,’ says Vern. ‘Just because we’re in Italy doesn’t mean we’re Italians.’

Amy gives Blackwood a firm handshake. ‘Mr Blackwood.’

‘Vern, you can all just call me Vern. Let’s sit soft.’

Vern takes a seat on his sofa, and the others sit too.

‘Tell us everything,’ says Steve. ‘Starting with you.’

‘I am …’ Vern begins, ‘let’s say … a criminal. A sort of criminal, but not really.’

A sort of criminal? thinks Rosie. Amy is writing things down. Amy always takes notes. Then she types them up and sends them to Steve and Rosie. Whether Steve reads them, Rosie couldn’t say. She hopes he does though. It would be nice if someone was reading them. For Amy’s sake.

‘I work in an industry populated by criminals,’ says Vern. ‘I find myself in their company often.’

‘But you yourself?’ Rosie asks.

Vern considers the question. ‘Well, I run a business that I would call shadowy rather than downright illegal.’

Rosie sees Amy underline the word ‘shadowy’. Amy likes things numbered and underlined. She doesn’t like chaos. Imagine not liking chaos?

‘What might your business be?’ Rosie asks. They had been doing their due diligence on the plane over and came up with very little. One small article about a legal dispute with his ex-wife over a trademarked name, but, other than that, nothing. Rosie has put a call in with an old contact who now works at Interpol. If there is further information, then he will have it.

‘Vitamins,’ says Vern. ‘Vitamins, health supplements, brain boosters, anything like that. I advertise and sell online. I ship from China, I pay tax in Italy and I holiday in the Caribbean. That’s the business.’

‘That doesn’t …’ Amy is now holding her pen in the air. ‘That doesn’t sound illegal at all. If you don’t mind me saying?’

‘Well, quite,’ says Vern. ‘The wrinkle of it is that they’re not real vitamins. The brain boosters won’t boost your brain, the anti-ageing capsules won’t make you younger. They’re just water and powder and nice packaging.’

‘Okay,’ says Amy. ‘Well, yes, that does sound illegal now.’