Page 52 of Carte

I could see that this wasn’t even what Carter wanted, it was clear on his face, and in his movements that he was in pain, but something was keeping him at arm’s length, and until he decided otherwise, we were just two people forced to live under the same roof.

“Morning,” his voice, raspy from underuse, slid over my overheated skin, sending shivers down my spine.

“Morning,” I whispered to the coffeemaker, not looking up.

I couldn’t.

I knew if I saw his sleepy eyes, his hair sticking in all directions, and that stubble on his face, I would beg him for a chance.

“Want some breakfast?”

“Like I would say no,” I huffed.

He chuckled, but didn’t say anything else.

It was grating on my nerves, this silence that came to live between us.

Carter seemed oblivious to it, as he busied himself with preparing our breakfast.

Once it was done, I poured each of us a cup, and slid his coffee down the counter to him, “Here you go.”

“Thanks,” he muttered, his focus on the bubbling pancakes.

I crossed to the island and sat down. I was getting tired of this. I wanted him back. Even in that minimal part he gave to me, I wanted it.

He slid the plate to me, and sat down, “How’s the writing going?”

I almost choked on air from the shock that he asked a question.

“Um,” I cleared my throat. “Good.”

“I hear you at all hours of the night. Do you usually write that late?”

I frowned, “I’m not keeping you up, am I? I try to be as quiet as possible.”

I hated the idea of him losing sleep because of me. The last few days, the blue rims under his eyes had turned purple-ish. “You do look tired. You not getting enough sleep?”

Carter glanced at me, “No, don’t worry about it. I just have a lot on my plate now.”

Even that minimally personal question was a no-go zone.

“Do you have any leads on who might be after me?”

He shook his head as he chewed. “No, nothing.”

I looked out the window. I didn’t like this. I didn’t like not knowing why someone was after me. What had I done to guarantee this kind of behavior?

“We’re going back on tour in a few days,” I muttered. I wasn’t so sure I wanted to go back anymore.

Even with the state of things between us, I felt safe here. Cared for.

I knew, once we got back into the mayhem of it all, it would all go away. There was much more space for Carter to put between us on tour. More shadows to retreat to.

He leaned back in his stool, “You don’t look too happy about it.”

I pushed the food around on my plate not willing to look up and let him see the pain that just thinking about leaving this place brought me.

“I know we still didn’t get him, but you’ll be fine. You’ll be safe. I pulled more men and they will be with the rest of the team once we get back. They won’t be visible, and no one outside the team will know about them, but they'll be there. You’re going to stay safe.”