Page 65 of ’Til You Break

“I’ve been thinking...”

“About what I said?” Of course he’d know.

I haven’t been able to think about anything else since he told me.

“Yes.”

“You’re not going to change my mind, Hannah.” His voice is flat. “I have to do this.”

“But why?” I rest my hand against his chest. I need Vik to know I’m here. That I understand. That I can accept more of what happened than he probably realizes.

I can’t understand why this has to end with three people dead. Or why he can’t hand everything over to the police and let them do their job while we begin our life together?

“Why don’t you go to the police? You’ve already done all the work. They can—“

“They stopped fighting for my mother years ago,” Vik cuts in. “So, they don’t get the satisfaction of seeing her killers brought to justice.”

His answer breaks my heart. The pain he’s carried for so many years has blinded him. He has to see this through on his own terms.

No matter the cost.

Even if it kills him.

But I’m not ready to accept that.

“If things go wrong...” The words catch in my throat. I hate even saying them. But I have to try.

“What if you don’t come home?” My voice cracks. “What if I lose you too?”

“Then you’ll never have another worry in your life. Because all of this”—Vik waves a hand through the air—“it’s all yours if I die.”

“I don’t want any of it if I don’t have you here to share it with,” I say.

He doesn’t answer.

“And what happens when this is over? Have you thought about that?”

“Yes.” He turns his attention back to the ceiling. “Then I can be happy. We can be happy.”

“How?” I follow his gaze. “Because nothing really changes once you’ve pulled that trigger. You’ll have three dead men on your conscience and nothing else to show for it. Their deaths won’t give you back the years you’ve spent consumed by this. They won’t change what happened to your mother.”

“Something will change, Hannah.” His voice remains calm.

“I’ll have done something about it.”

He isn’t angry. Even though I’m questioning everything he’s spent his life working towards.

I also know I won’t wear him down today. His mind is made up. He’s going to see this through.

But I’ll be damned if I stop trying.

“You told me I should forgive myself for what happened because I didn’t act with malicious intent. If you go through with this...” I swallow. “Will you be able to forgive yourself? When you’re the one who put them in the ground?”

He scoffs. “I’ll sleep like a fucking baby for the first time in years knowing they’re dead.”

“Okay,” I say, moving a little closer.

He’s lived with this pain for so long that he can’t imagine another ending.