Page 20 of Rebellious

“I can’t help but think about it when I have three brothers and eight sisters. Besides, we lived in a very small place. I heard them fucking on more than one occasion.”

The visuals were disgusting, considering how many kids her parents had. Rebel wrinkled her nose and changed the subject. “The club had a ‘Seven’ already.”

“He’s dead, so no hard feelings.”

“It doesn’t creep you out?”

“I’m not so easily spooked, sweetheart.”

“Aw, damn,” she teased with a dramatic snap of her fingers.

Seven’s phone began ringing, so he excused himself. The moment he left her alone, Rebel’s despair returned. She didn’t want to keep reliving Jana’s abuse that forced her to intercede. She didn’t want to remember the chilly water threatening to become her cold grave.

The door opened and she turned to see who it was. Not Diesel, Seven, DeLuca, or any of the other guards who’d been with them, but her father.

“Daddy,” Rebel cried, bursting into tears drawn from the depths of her soul.

He hurried to her and wrapped her in his arms, allowing her to cry and babel about everything from Kaia to Rule to almost dying today. Again. He hugged her and stroked her hair just as he had when she was a small girl. He smelled of leather, smoke, and aftershave with an underlay of soap. Familiar scents that soothed her.

“I don’t want to die,” she finished, trying to control her tears and clinging to her father. “I’m so scared, Daddy.”

He tightened his hold on her. “First time I got shot I was about seventeen. I was fucking terrified cuz I was on my bike and I thought I was gonna wipeout. If those fuckheads woulda circled back, they probably woulda killed me because I ain’t remembered to take care and pull my fuckin’ piece. I was closer to Ma, so I went there. It was a thigh wound. I was cryin’ and panickin’, so fuckin’ afraid I was gonna die.”

Releasing her father, Rebel rested against her pillow and met his gaze. “What did Grandma Pattie do?”

Daddy shrugged. “Did like always when she thought I was too hard to handle. Called Big Joe.” He smiled sadly. “Ironic I almost died cuz she wouldn’t take me to the hospital herself and I lost a lot of fuckin’ blood. A lot. Big Joe stayed here with me for three fuckin’ days. Until I was outta danger. Then he told me to fear livin’. Death is peace. Death is free of pain and worry. Livin’ is the motherfucker. One’s inevitable but both are inescapable. You got to live to die, but it’s how the fuck you live that makes the difference. It was no fuckin’ use wonderin’ about the other side, especially since we knew the direction we was headed when we bit it.”

Rebel pursed her lips.

“I wasn’t too happy at that message either, Reb. It wasn’t a pep talk.”

“No, it wasn’t.” She didn’t understand what Big Joe, or Seven, meant. If she breathed, she lived, so of course it was inescapable. “Was he trying to make you afraid of life, too?”

“It was a reality check. It was a reminder that how I lived this life dictated how I entered the next. That’s when I realized how deep into the club I already was.”

“Aren’t you agnostic? Do you believe in an afterlife?”

“Even before your ma influenced me, I believed in Satan if not God. I didn’t disbelieve. I just saw more bad than good. I couldn’t understand the concept of a benevolent bein’ if I never saw it myself. But you believe, dontcha?”

She nodded.

“You kind and you loyal. You almost gave up your life…” He paused, swallowed, and glanced away, shifting his weight. “Ain’t no greater love than to lay down your life for a friend.” Sighing, he leaned down and hugged her again. “I woulda killed that cunt, but you woulda had nothin’ to fear. You woulda been in Heaven with Patrick.”

Swiping her cheeks with his rough fingertips, he kissed her forehead and straightened.

“If you’d killed Jana, I would’ve died for nothing.”

A muscle ticked in his jaw. “Thinkin’ about you dead make me wanna throw up, but I know you need to talk.”

“I don’t want to think about me dead. I was just making a point. Jana’s a victim, too.”

Daddy nodded. “I know, baby. I wouldna thought about that though. I just woulda shot the fuck outta her.”

Of course Daddy would have. He reacted, then considered his actions. Her father would never change. She smiled. “Where’s Momma?”

“She had to go to the nursery for something.”

Panic surged into Rebel. “Jo’s okay, isn’t she?”