Page 8 of Sway

He doesn’t seem to notice how out of place he is in our world of glitter and glam. “Do I know you?” I say.

“I apologize, Ms. Sanchez, my name is John Applebaum. I’m the executive producer of Dancing under the Stars. I’m sure you’re familiar with the show.”

“Oh, hell no!” Jenny blurts.

Diana chokes on her Hawaiian Punch. I wipe the tears out of my eyes—smearing my makeup all over my face, I’m sure.

Jenny carefully sets her drink on the bar. “Mr. Applebaum, I’m Jennifer Ming, 2017 United States Amateur National Standard Champion and also Salomé’s manager. What do you want? Did you exceed your Russian dancer limit this season?”

Oh, good God, Jenny’s about to begin one of her sociological tirades about reality television, the topic of her senior thesis at Harvard. “Jen—”

She cuts me off by holding up her hand like a stop sign.

Mr. Applebaum doesn’t know what’s coming.

“Well, kind of,” he jokes. “We just heard word that Olga Radetskaya was deported from the United States for immigration fraud. We’re thinking of shaking it up this season and getting some new blood. Salomé, I saw you dance tonight—I couldn’t take my eyes off you. I believe you and Ricardo should have won hands down. It is so beautiful to watch a couple who is so in love perform.”

Diana claps her hand over Jenny’s mouth. I flat-out laugh. I guess our faux kiss at the end of our rumba was convincing. But nothing could be further from the truth. First of all, Ricardo is gay, or a gay as the Russians would say. Secondly, you can say many things about my relationship with Ricardo, but loving is not one of them.

“Apparently you missed the part where Ricardo slapped her,” Jenny says through Diana’s fingers.

Mr. Applebaum ignores Jenny and starts slowly eye fucking our darling Diana. “Are you a dancer?”

Jenny pulls Diana’s hand away from her face. “Obviously. You don’t get a body like that from just sitting on your ass and eating Cheetos while watching your show. Her name is Diana Young and she’s the 2017 Amateur National Rhythm Champion. I’m sure she’d be great for your ratings—a blonde-haired, blue-eyed, nineteen-year-old Mormon virgin. Can’t beat that.”

Diana kicks her. “Stop it Jenny. You’re embarrassing me.” She turns the color of the spilled punch on her dress.

Mr. Applebaum turns his snake eyes on Jenny. “Ms. Ming, you have a very dynamic personality. We would love to interview all three of you girls for next season.” He hands us business cards.

Like a perro seeing a mutt sniffing at his tree, Ricardo shows up at my side that instant. He looks ready to pee his circle around me, but Mr. Applebaum disarms him immediately.

“Hello, Ricardo,” he says. “My name is John Applebaum, the executive producer of Dancing under the Stars. I was just chatting with your gorgeous partner about the show.”

Ricardo’s eyes go from narrow to wide and welcoming. “Mr. Applebaum. We are very flattered. We would love to be on your show. In fact, Salomé and I were just talking about how we would like to take a break from competing.”

Well there’s some news.

“Of course, Mr. Mancini,” Mr. Applebaum says. “Gabriel Bains recommended you. We would love for you to interview.”

Oh, God. Open mouth, insert foot.

I take a step backward as Ricardo’s teeth clench. I swear I can see foam form around his lips. Interview him? Interview him? The insult! Apparently Mr. Applebaum has no idea who he is talking to—does he not realize that Ricardo is an eight-time Blackpool champion and a four-time World Champion? And did he have to mention Ricardo’s ex-boyfriend Gabriel? Nobody talks to Ricardo that way. Nobody.

I think I love Mr. Applebaum.

“Mr. Applebaum,” Ricardo says, finally unclenching his teeth, “Salomé will not consider it without me. She and I are a package deal. You know, I created Salomé. I’ve been training her since she was a young girl. She is nothing without me.”

I glance quickly at my girls. Diana’s hand is over Jenny’s mouth again.

“Mr. Mancini,” Applebaum says. “I know who you are and I’m well aware that you’re a fantastic dancer. Here’s my card, call me and we can schedule an interview. Ladies, it was a pleasure meeting all of you.”

He shakes Ricardo’s hand and walks away.

Jenny, Diana, and I slump onto the bar, attempting to suppress our obvious enjoyment of Ricardo’s embarrassment. Ricardo, dumbfounded, nervously glances at the crowd now gathered at the bar.

“Can you believe that jackass, Salomé?” he says. “Yeah right, Gabriel mentioned me. He probably just wants to make me jealous by flaunting his new boy toy. Unbelievable.”

“He seemed serious to me,” says Jenny.