Page 65 of Blue Moon

Chapter 28

Sol

Normally, the view of the bridge from my balcony calmed me, but now all I could see was Sawyer.

Sawyer everywhere. Flying overhead. Making my heart soar. Drowning me in ecstasy.

Over the past month, I’d picked up the phone so many times and called him, but he’d never answered.

Maybe he’d blocked me?

But I didn’t regret what I had done, or what I had said to him. Maybe he was right—it would never work out. He was in the military; he would deploy, maybe he would cheat on me.

But in my heart, I knew it could work out. And we could be happy. Together.

On my end, I’d told Kelli I needed a break. She said that wasn’t possible, so I fired her. And my followers dropped.

And that was how I learned I was truly alone.

I’d been feeling alone for years, with no real friends to call, and no one who really cared about me. Sure, Raine did, but she wasn’t local, and she was almost always busy. I’d been so focused on my followers and my fake life that I had never really felt this emptiness before.

Hollow.

Numb.

Shallow.

I scrolled through my phone and couldn’t even think of anyone to call. Not a single person I could invite to coffee. No family to call and say hi—my parents were off traveling on another one of their cruises.

This time they hadn’t even said goodbye.

I didn’t even have a pet. The only time I’d even considered getting a pet was when I wanted to adopt this odd-eyed cat I’d seen. He was gorgeous—one golden eye and one blue eye. Why had I wanted him? Was it because I wanted a companion? Wanted to save his life from a high-kill shelter?

No. I wish I could say that, but it would’ve been a lie.

The only reason I’d wanted that cat was because I believed I could make him an Instagram star and grow my following.

And now I had lost everything.

No wonder Sawyer didn’t love me. He saw right through me. I was a joke.

The only way I even knew what Sawyer was up to was by following the #blueangels hashtag on Instagram and occasionally seeing him tagged in other people’s photos.

I was so pathetic.

I didn’t have a clue what to do.

I tried to get a hold of myself, but I burst into tears. There had to be someone else I could talk to, someone who would understand my anxiety, but I couldn’t think of anyone. The irony of my life was that I had one million followers and not a single friend in the world.

I went into the bathroom and drew myself a warm bath, adding a capful of bubbles. Here I had these beautiful things—a soaking tub, a driftwood bath caddy, and luxurious spa essentials. But I took little joy in my life anymore.

I just wanted to be liked for me. For who I was, not what I could do for someone, or how I could promote his business. I wanted to be liked in my grungy sweats with no makeup and no filters. Like Sawyer liked me.

I was about to slip into the bubbles and sob when I heard a distant song.

“You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling.”

My pulse accelerated. Oh my god! It couldn’t be.

I wrapped a towel around me and sprinted to the door. I looked through the peephole and Sawyer was standing outside, in his uniform, serenading me.

I couldn’t even move, I was frozen.

“Sol, open up. It’s me.”