Page 50 of Say it Ain’t So

“You okay, boss?”

Lee opened his eyes—eyes that could have been some fucked up Christmas ornaments with the way the whites around the emerald green had turned red. Slowly, he peeled himself off the desk and sat back in his chair. Wiped the back of his hand across his lips before tucking both hands into his armpits.

Closing himself off.

“I left her.” His normally booming voice was as close to a hushed whisper as I’d ever heard it.

Taking a seat in the chair across from his desk, I asked, “How’s she doing?”

Lee shook his head. “Don’t know. I left her. Told her parents I couldn’t do this anymore. It’s not healthy for either of us. Kelly—” His voice broke. “She needs more help than I can give her.”

“Maybe it’s for the best,” I offered, hating myself for even uttering the words. “She’s gotta focus on getting her own shit worked out before she can make space for you.”

He scowled and my thoughts flashed to Joss. How she’d be trembling in her seat if she were here, seeing what I was seeing. How his anger would have her cowering and trying to get away.

The same way she had my first day back, when all his anger was directed at me for being a shithead and taking off.

“I fucking left her, Dennis. I love her. I can’t think of anything but her. But she left me, and I did everything in my power to find her and bring her home. And then I fucking left her.”

“I understand⁠—”

“You can’t fucking understand!” His voice trembled like an earthquake, shaking him and the entire room.

I raised my hands, fending off his anger while mine built. “You got me, boss. It’s not like I’ve ever been in love or married or had my wife walk out on me before.”

Lee’s brows furrowed, but I lowered my hands, wiping my palms down my thighs.

“Look, what’s done is done,” I told him, and watched as he tightened his hold around his chest. “No matter how much it hurts, you have to do what’s right for the both of you.”

He turned his face away. I hated this for him. That he was going through the exact same thing I had, only for him, it was of his own making.

He had to make his own decisions. He had to do what was right for him.

And I needed to do what was right for me.

Rising from my seat, I placed my palm on his desk, leaning closer. When he didn’t look up, I told him what I needed to say anyway. “You need anything, you know I’m here. I may be a shit friend some days, but I’ve got your back. Just let me know what you need.”

I turned and walked away when he did no more than dip his head. He’d come around, eventually. I hoped. I hoped he’d see he did what needed to be done for both their sakes.

Intending to head for home, I walked toward the lobby and the cold Chicago night, only to catch lights flickering out of the corner of my eye, coming from the kitchenette. Inside, sitting at the tiny table, was Joss. She had her fingertip in her mouth, her eyes glued to the screen of her tablet.

And just like always, the sight of her stole my breath away.

I watched her for a few minutes, until she moved to tap the screen. A new video came up, and I realized what it was she was watching. Video compilations of car accidents and stupid drivers—people driving too close to the edge of a cliff and sliding down hills; people getting rear-ended because some numbskull didn’t have the patience to wait his turn; people having their cars practically demolished in high-speed chases gone wrong.

Joss wrung her hands, flexing her left before she lifted her finger back to her lips. And there, where I never noticed it before, was the one thing other than my hopes and dreams she’d stolen when she left my bed: her wedding band. Bent and misshapen, but still right where I’d placed it two and a half years ago.

My wife.

On quiet feet, I came up behind her. My hand hovered over her shoulder, taking in the warmth she emitted, letting it reach for me the way I constantly wanted to reach for her. Finally, when I couldn’t take the torture anymore, I let it fall lightly upon her.

She jumped slightly before she turned her face up toward mine. There she was, the woman I’d fallen in love with. The woman who left me to deal with her own demons and got lost along the way.

Fate brought us back together, and I was done trying to fight it.

Now, I only wanted to fight for her.

I cleared my throat. Gave her shoulder a light squeeze. “Kentucky.”