Page 58 of Say it Ain’t So

Rylan stood to his full height and looked down at me. “What makes you happy, gorgeous?”

I swallowed hard. Rylan made me happy. Being close to him. Feeling his hands upon my body, his breath upon my neck. For a brief moment, I was consumed with memories of our wedding night. Memories I wanted to make more of.

“This,” I finally managed, though I wasn’t sure exactly what I meant. Rylan, being here in my apartment? Rylan, being so close?

Or was it just this? My apartment. My fish tank. My container of unsalted peanuts and the basket of trinkets I got in exchange.

Whatever I meant, Rylan decided on his own what it was. He closed in, taking hold of each of my hands and pulling me close.

“Are you and Van⁠—”

When he didn’t continue, I guessed at what he meant. “Friends?” When he nodded, I did too. “We’re just friends. He knows I’m married.”

He let out a huff. “He told me as much. Told me to lay off you, not flirt with you anymore.”

“What?”

“I didn’t listen.” He squeezed my hands and pulled me closer, and I couldn’t help but smile.

“I noticed.”

Rylan’s head dipped closer. “I had fun tonight.” His voice was low and deep, and it warmed me as much as his body heat did. “I’d like to do it again.”

I blinked a few times and tilted my head. “I’d like that too.”

“Just the two of us, gorgeous. I want—” His mouth worked for a second before he glanced away. When he looked back, his brow was furrowed. “I want to go out with you. Just you and me. Alone.”

“Okay.” I dragged the word out. “Like, on a date?”

Rylan’s shoulders dropped and he smiled. “Yeah. On a date.”

“I’d love that.”

He nodded, then his gaze dropped to my mouth. “I really want to kiss you.”

Holding my breath, I wet my lips. There wasn’t much more I wanted than that. He let go of my hand and curled his palm around my cheek. With his head tilted to one side, he ran the pad of his thumb across my bottom lip.

“But I’m worried.” His voice wasn’t much more than a whisper. I curled into him, trying to get closer, trying to make sure I didn’t miss a thing. “I’m worried that once I start, I won’t be able to stop again.”

“That’s okay.”

His smile wasn’t the wide, infuriating grin I was so used to. It looked sad. He looked sad. “Promised myself I wouldn’t do that again.”

My eyes snapped to his as I edged my head back. “Do what?”

Rylan cupped my other cheek. His fingers wrapped around the back of my head, cradling me in his palms. “Lose myself in you.”

I placed my hands over his. “Rylan⁠—”

“It hurt, Joss. Losing you wrecked me. As much as I know I should walk away and never look back, I can’t help wanting you. I can’t help wanting a second chance.”

“I want you too.”

He squeezed his eyes shut as a smile tugged at his lips. Pressing his forehead to mine, Rylan nudged my nose with his. I held my breath again, waiting, wanting, ready for his kiss.

When it came, it wasn’t at all what I expected. Rylan dropped a kiss between my brows, then edged back, that sad smile still in place.

“Gotta check my schedule,” he told me as he let me go. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the little slip of paper he’d taken from me earlier. He took my hand, placing the paper in my palm before squeezing my fingers around it. “Soon as I can, I’ll take you out. Wanna do it right this time, gorgeous. I promise, I’ll make it right.”