Page 50 of The Doctor

I’d wanted my Clara back, but all I got was a taste of happiness before it was torn away.

17

Clara

Why doesn’t he want me?

That’s the thought that raced through my head, even as he smeared his release all over me, shoving his coated fingers into me before spreading the remnants over my heated skin.

Why doesn’t he want me?

It was on my mind as I fell asleep wrapped up in the safety of his arms, my muscles jellied from the orgasms he’d ripped from me.

I awoke with a jolt in the middle of the night, his hard cock jabbing into my stomach. I wiggled out of his grip, replacing my body with nothing more than a pillow.

Why doesn’t he want me?

It was the only thing I thought of as I raced up the stairs to my room, burying my face in my pillow and letting out a silent scream.

He’d been so close. So close to pushing inside me, so close to giving me my wildest dream.

There was something wrong with me. That’s what the problem was. Something about me he just couldn’t love enough.

After tearing myself from my bed, I rinsed off and dressed. Then, being as quiet as I could, I rushed back downstairs, shoved my discarded clothes in my bag… and folded his neatly before putting them aside. With one last look at his peaceful, handsome face, I snuck out of his house and locked it up tight.

I’d do well to lock up my heart, but I didn’t have that luxury. My heart hadn’t belonged to me for too many years.

Now, it belonged to him.

And he doesn’t even want me.

I stumbled home and into bed, then rose in the morning to more heartache. There were no messages on my cell, no phone calls asking where I’d gone.

Zee was back to ignoring me, and after one hope-filled night, I was back to being… just me.

Just the girl who wasn’t enough.

I fumbled through my classes, met with my clients in back hallways and dark rooms, exchanging white papers for green. They got the homework assignments I’d poured myself into the past couple weeks, I got enough money to finally go back to Jayden and get a new supply.

That money burned a hole in my pocket all afternoon, and my scattered mind wasn’t thinking of much else as I walked on autopilot through the front door to Zee’s house. It wasn’t until the door was locked and I turned to find him standing, arms crossed, at the bottom of the stairs, that something other than my plans for getting more pills crossed my mind.

I let out a squeak and jumped backward, slamming my shoulder into the solid door. Zee’s brow—already deep with some unknown emotion—furrowed deeper still. Was it wrong that I cowered as he reached for my arm? Was it wrong that I melted into him as he pulled me to his chest?

“Are you okay?” He asked it with his lips brushing the skin at the side of my head, voice raw and raspy and so damn hot.

Giving him a nod, I turned my face up to his. Warmth flooded my belly as he stared down at me, eyes on my lips. “I’m okay.”

Zeno looked like he had a thousand things to say. After a full minute, he finally settled on, “I didn’t hear you leave.”

“I needed to get home and take my pills.”

“Pills?” I didn’t realize my mistake until he asked it, and my breath caught in my throat as I tried to suck it in.

A fleck of something hit the back of my throat, causing me to cough like an idiot, because only an idiot couldn’t breathe without choking. Zee patted my back, rubbing his palm in circles until I could finally suck in a breath tainted with his scent without coughing it up again.

“What pills?” Zee asked when I’d finally recovered.

My gaze darted around the room as I desperately searched for a response that would be logical and appropriate to tell my doctor, my mentor, and the man who’d almost fucked me last night.