Page 104 of Outrageous

She could lie to herself all day long, but the truth was that she did want Godric.

He’ll never love you. He doesn’t even want to marry you—and he certainly doesn’t want to have a child or family with you.

I’m not looking for love—I’m not even looking for marriage, and certainly not with a man like Godric Fleming.

Oh, Eva.

The voice was so sad it actually made her stop and think; was she looking for love?

She growled at the foolish thought. You don’t know the first thing about what I want, she foolishly accused her own mind.

If your father’s offer is indeed your only dream, then why is there any question about your decision at all?

Eva gritted her teeth against the infallible logic. Godric made a similar offer—he even mentioned having an aunt who’d bred horses. So the decision isn’t between having my dream or abandoning Godric. I can have horses and Godric.

Yes, but Godric made that offer when he thought the two of you would be forced to marry. What do you think he would say now, Eva—now that he might not be doomed to a future chained to a woman whose children he never wants to have? Or perhaps you think the marquess gave Godric the same choice to shab off as he’s given you?

Eva knew her father wouldn’t have given Godric that choice. She held both their futures in her hands.

The relentless voice in her head had one last question: So, what do you think Godric would do if he held both your futures in his hands?

Eva closed her eyes, but that offered no reprieve from the truth: if Godric had been given the same choice as she, Eva would already be rolling away in a carriage with her father.

The door to the parlor opened and Eva’s head jerked up.

Tommy strode in and shut the door with a decisive click. “I need to speak to you,” he said, his voice almost harsh. In the five years she’d known Thomas Byer, she’d never heard anything but flippancy, amusement, and mockery from him. The man looking down at her with dark, unsmiling eyes bore no resemblance to the Tommy she knew.

“Of course, Tommy. Please, have a seat.”

Unlike her father, he’d not bathed or changed since his arrival, and his face was taut, dusty, and tired as he dropped into the chair the marquess had just vacated. That was another thing she’d never seen before: Thomas Byer looking anything less than immaculate. The man was almost prettier than she was, and he certainly took more pains when it came to grooming his magnificent body and handsome face. He was, in other words, a dandy. But not today.

“You cannot throw away your life like this, Eva.”

“I’m not—”

He lifted a hand in an imperious gesture. “I know you can be the most stubborn creature on earth, but now is not the time to allow your willful nature free rein.”

Eva scowled. “Why do—”

“I realize saying something like that is the best way to get your hackles up, but you know I am speaking sense. Come away with your father and me. I’ll take care of you.” He hesitated. “It would be my honor to take care of you. You don’t need to marry Visel just to avoid scandal. In fact—” His cheeks flushed. “In fact, I forbid it.”

All the confusion she’d been feeling at his words coalesced into anger, like a boiling pot converting water to steam. Here was yet another man who thought he knew what was best for her.

“It may surprise you to hear this, Lord Byer, but I don’t want to be taken care of. Indeed, it may surprise you to know I’m tired of being treated like a slobbering infant.” He opened his mouth but she raised her hand. “And it particularly might surprise you to know that I am capable of making my own decisions.” Her eyes narrowed at the open skepticism that flashed across his face before he could hide it.

Of all the arrogant, conceited, obnoxious—

“I am not saying you are incapable of making your own decisions, Eva. I am saying you are dreadfully outmatched when it comes to pitting your wits against Visel. This is the same man who goaded Gabe to violence.” He paused, his patient, long-suffering expression only making her more furious. “This is the same man who mocked you—your incipient madness—at every opportunity these past few months. You are not thinking clearly, Eva.”

“When did you become so knowledgeable about what I think, Tommy?” He flinched at the heat in her tone. “The only thing you know about me is what you see or what I’ve told you. You like my exterior well enough—just as a great number of other men do.” His sudden flush told her that was a home truth. “As to anything beyond that, the only things I’ve ever told you about myself are superficial—my love of horses, my hatred of balls and fussy gowns. The truth is, you know nothing about me and yet you are prepared to make one of the most important decisions of my life—for me. Your arrogance is simply breathtaking. I would never presume to do the same thing to you—”

“That is because I’m a man and you are a young girl barely out of the schoolroom—”

“A girl, Tommy? Is that what you are thinking when you look at me? Is that how you would treat me if I were to accept your offer to take care of me? Like a girl?”

His already flushed face turned a dull red as he absorbed the unmistakable tenor of her words.

“Very well,” he said, “I do want you as a man wants a woman and have done for quite some time.” The flash of heat she saw in his eyes was unmistakable to her, now that she’d seen a similar look in Godric’s. Tommy wanted her—wanted to do the same things Godric had done to her. Yet the knowledge gave her no joy. Not like thinking about Godric.