Page 117 of Aurelia

“What do you mean?”

“She liked men and she liked sex. And she had as little interest in marriage and monogamy as I did.” He slid her a quick look. “At least that was how I felt back then.”

“You knew about her propensity for taking lovers when you married her?” Aurelia asked, hardly believing him.

“Yes, of course. She was nothing if not direct. The only reason she agreed to her father’s suggestion that she marry was because she knew how vulnerable an unmarried woman could be. With the protection of my name, she could pursue both her studies—and her desires—unfettered.”

Aurelia stared at him, utterly befuddled. “I do not understand.”

“You mean, why I married her?”

“Was it pure altruism that made you agree?”

He threw back his head and laughed. “No, indeed. It was not altruism, but”—he cleared his throat and Aurelia swore that he was blushing, although it was difficult to see beneath his darkly tanned skin. “Dickenson had some astounding journals from when he’d been younger. He’d had the good fortune to accompany an expeditionary force into the interior of Africa. The things he brought back”—he broke off and shook his head in wonder. “Suffice it to say they were unlike anything I had ever seen before. Not just the journals, but crates and crates of specimens and—”

Aurelia gave a snort of disbelief. “You married her to get your hands on her father’s journals and specimens.” It was not a question.

Roland was definitely blushing. “Er, yes. You sound… disgusted.”

“I don’t know what I feel—not that it matters as it is none of my affair.”

He turned on his heel and lowered himself beside her. “From this day forth I want all my affairs to be only yours, darling.” He took her hand and raised it to his mouth, nibbling on her knuckles while giving her an adorably pleading look.

Aurelia snorted and shook her head, unable to keep a smile from tugging at her lips. “Go on with your story.”

He grinned, lowered her hand, and relaxed beside her, his long legs sprawling while his arm slid around her. “You are correct in guessing that Dickenson’s research was a big part of why I married Jane. It was a windfall of incredible proportions. But then there was Jane herself.”

“You loved her?”

“Did I love Jane?” He laughed. “Lord no! But we were good friends and—” he broke off and cut her a sideways look and sighed. “And yes, we were occasionally lovers.”

Of course, you were, Aurelia thought. Aloud she said, “Do continue.”

“There was also the fact that I was fond of her father. I knew she could not do as she wished without a husband—or at least not without a great deal of danger and inconvenience. So, while it was true the marriage was self-serving, the truth was that Jane needed me as much as I wanted those journals.” He smiled at her. “So, there you have it.”

Aurelia struggled to digest the whole of what he’d told her.

He cocked his head. “You are looking at me as if I am a new species of vermin.”

“No, not vermin. But I must admit I am at a loss.”

“Why? Because I married for pragmatic reasons rather than love? You know that is done among our sort all the time.”

“I do know that. And I had daily proof of what a disaster a loveless marriage can be, Roland. My family’s poverty was only one unpleasant aspect of life. There was also my mother and father’s constant bickering and sniping. It was… hellish.”

“I understand that. But why are we talking about a marriage of convenience that went awry? Ours would not be that. I love you, Aurelia. Do you feel nothing for me?”

His words rocked her—a dream come true. And yet still she hesitated to return them.

Once you admit how you feel he will never relent. Not until you agree to marry him, Caution whispered.

Aurelia knew that was true.

But she also knew that she wanted him. And she was no coward. Love was right in front of her, just waiting for her to reach out and take it. All she needed to do was trust him.

She stared at Roland. “Yes, I love you.”

His smile was gorgeous as he swooped in and kissed her soundly, leaving her breathless when he finally pulled back. “I knew it. We are in love, but we also love—I think there is a distinction.”