Page 89 of A Very Bellamy Christmas

“Why?”

“Because my siblings will want to know why I’m not playing if I don’t.”

“Your sister said you are very good at the game. The best in your family.”

“I am.”

“And yet you sound unhappy about your skill. We can always just sit here in silence.” He paused and then added with a sly twist of those sensual lips. “Or we could talk.”

“Talk?”

He smiled.

“Talk about what?” she said after a moment.

He shrugged his powerful shoulders. “Whatever you like.”

Katie wanted to ask what it had been like to be trapped in a carriage for days with his dying wife, but she doubted that was a subject he would appreciate.

Instead, she said, “I will have my first Season next year.”

“Yes, your sister mentioned that.”

“I daresay you’ve had many.”

He laughed. “Why? Because I am old?”

He was old. At least compared to Katie’s seven-and-ten years.

Before she could come up with a polite response he said, “Are you looking forward to it?”

“It will be something to do.”

His eyebrows arched. “I cannot help thinking that you do not sound very excited.”

Katie knew he was waiting for an explanation, but she had nothing to offer. She didn’t know why she felt such a crushing sense of…ennui.

Oh, yes you do.

“I’m not terribly excited,” she admitted. “I never would have believed that I’d miss being crowded at Queen’s Bower and wearing gowns that had passed through four sisters before they became mine. But sometimes I wish—” she bit her lip, horrified by the burning behind her eyes.

“What do you wish?”

“I wish we had never left,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. Where in the world had that come from? Katie swallowed hard, as if that would suppress the emotions suddenly threatening to overwhelm her.

“It is normal that you would miss such closeness,” he said gently.

Rather than go away, the urge to cry built so quickly she had to tilt her head back. Why did she feel such a powerful compulsion to throw herself onto this kind man’s broad chest and weep and weep and weep?

What was wrong with her?

“If London is not to your liking, then I hope you will come and stay with Selina and me,” he said. “We will only remain in town for a month. Long enough for Selina to be presented and then we will go home.”

It was a nice offer, but the last thing Katie wanted was to bear close witness to yet another joyously happy marriage. Or be a burden. Selina and Shaftsbury spent most of their time together—not just because he needed Selina, but because they were so deeply in love. Although Hy and Chatham were equally in love, they each led busy, independent lives and Katie’s presence did not interfere with their lives.

“That is very kind of you, my lord, but I suppose I will give London a chance.”

“I think you might enjoy yourself more than you expect.”

Katie would be stunned if that were true. Wisely, she kept that bitter prediction to herself.

Instead, she said, “I daresay you are right. Shall we finish this game? I believe it was your move.”