Page 60 of Kathryn

“In many ways Gerrit is very much like Dulverton. Er, I mean the last duke,” Betje amended.

“I suppose that is quite normal with fathers and sons,” Katie said when the dowager appeared to fall into a distracted reverie.

“What’s that, my dear?” Betje said after a moment.

“I just said that it seems natural for sons to be like their fathers.” Although she dearly hoped that Doddy was nothing like their profligate, gambling father.

“Oh yes. Just so,” Betje said with a nervous laugh, her pale skin coloring for some reason as she gave Katie a strange, almost evasive, look. “Er, yes, Gerrit does get his looks from Boon’s side of the family. But I was referring more to their rather stringent requirements when it comes to their surroundings and such.” She gave one of her titters of laughter, but this time Katie heard no amusement in the sound. “I sometimes wonder if Gerrit inherited anything from me at all.”

Katie could understand that.

“Gerrit was not happy to discover me here last night. I knew he would not like it. He forbade me to come to the wedding ceremony.”

Katie felt intensely uncomfortable. “My sister Hyacinth—er, the Duchess of Chatham—was the only family I had at the wedding and that is because I lived with her and her husband for the last five years. But I didn’t invite any of my other siblings. His Grace probably did not want to make you come all the way to London for such a small affair.”

The dowager smiled sadly. “You are kind to try and make me feel better, but the reason Gerrit did not invite me is because he does not care to be around me. You mustn’t feel bad for me, my dear. I’m afraid I brought it all on myself.”

Katie suspected that was at least partially true. She’d only been married to Dulverton a few days, but she already knew the duke required a certain sort of order in his surroundings. Why would Betje have thought it was a good idea to change things so drastically at Briarly?

But Katie did not want to make assumptions, so she said, “Are you talking about rearranging the house?”

“No, not for what I’ve done to Briarly, although I know that by trying to make the house more comfortable for you, I have angered him.” She frowned, and the expression made her look like an angry, fluffy little bird. “But I don’t care anymore. For years I have let him slowly turn into Boon. But it must stop now, before he is lost forever.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I am talking about how Gerrit has become a cold, isolated, and lonely man. You must not allow him to go on the way he has, Kathryn. You are his wife, and it falls to you to challenge him.”

“Challenge him?” she repeated, utterly mystified.

Betje nodded. “Yes. Gerrit needs to have his rigid expectations challenged—or at least questioned. It was a failure on my part that I never did so with Boon. He told me how things would be, and I capitulated utterly. Like Boon, Gerrit is wealthy, powerful, and accustomed to being obeyed. In short, Gerrit is the master of his world. But he has forgotten this is your world, too. It is not right that Gerrit should have everything his way. And I think it is not good for him. He is so rigid, so very closed off from others.” The older woman’s blue eyes were vague, as if she was looking at something not in the room. “I should have never given in to all Boon’s demands,” she said in a voice that was a dry husk of her normal ebullient tone. “But Boon was so much older and so very wise and dignified that I thought he knew best. I thought he—” She broke off and stared at her hands, which were clasped together so tightly the knuckles were white. “I have to tell you something and it is shameful and embarrassing. But you must know. You must have a chance to do better,” she whispered, more to herself. She met Katie’s curious gaze. “I was younger than you when I married Boon—only seventeen—and he was a few years older than Gerrit.”

Katie could easily imagine Betje at seventeen. She was still a beautiful woman; she must have been a breathtakingly lovely girl.

Betje twisted her fingers and sank her teeth into her lower lip, her gaze once again distant. “I was Boon’s second wife. His first had died long before, when he was a young man. He waited almost twenty years before seeking a bride.” She suddenly gave a gurgle of laughter, her pale eyes filled with nostalgia and mischief, giving Katie some idea of what she had looked like all those years ago. “I had six older sisters. One after another they hoped to be Boon’s bride. But one after another they were forced to marry elsewhere as the time to wed came and went and still Boon did not marry. Finally, my grandfather—a terrifying old man not accustomed to having his will thwarted—told me I would accompany him to England.” Her gaze slid to Katie. “He brought me here without telling Boon we were coming. My grandfather quickly discovered that Boon was not a boy to be ordered about. Instead, he appealed to Boon’s honor by pointing out the agreement between our families could not be fulfilled if Boon did not take me to wife as the next oldest granddaughter was barely two years of age.”

“Did you wish to marry?” Katie asked.

“Oh, yes!” Betje answered without hesitation. “Boon was not a handsome man, but he was very dignified and commanding. I was so ready to fall in love with him,” she said softly, a fond smile on her face. “By marrying him I would do what all my sisters had failed to achieve and become a duchess.” Betje’s smile faded. “He was very reserved during our brief courtship, but I was sure he would become warmer once we married. With so many married sisters I knew what happened in the marriage bed.” She looked sheepish for raising such a subject. “I hoped that physical intimacy would bring about the same sort of emotional intimacy that my sisters enjoyed with their husbands. I was young and very romantic.” A bleakness settled over her. “Boon put paid to my dreams on our wedding night.”

Katie realized that she had been holding her breath and exhaled, a sense of impending doom filling her as she waited for Betje to continue.

“He was very gentle and kind—in his reserved way—and made sure I did not suffer that first time. When it was over, he told me how our wedded life was to be. My duties were to be few.” She gave a bitter bark of laughter. “In truth, I had only one.”

Katie knew what Betje would say before she even said it.

“He did not need me to serve as his hostess as he rarely entertained at Spenwood. I was not required to accompany him to London because he had no interest in ton socializing. In almost every way I was superfluous when it came to his life. My only responsibility was to provide him with an heir. Once I had, my duty to him would be at an end and we would live separate lives.” She looked down at her hands. “My wedding night, which I’d dreamed about for so long, ended in despair.”

They sat in uncomfortable silence.

Katie looked at the dowager’s bowed blonde head and knew she could not hold her tongue. “Gerrit had a similar conversation with me, although it took place before we married.”

Betje looked stricken. “I cannot say I am surprised, although I was hoping it would not be so. And is that what you want, my dear?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean is that the sort of marriage you want? One in name only.”

“It hardly matters what I want. Dulverton made his expectations clear before we married, and I agreed. It would be unfair to him if I changed my mind now. Besides—” Katie broke off, at the last moment recalling just who she was talking to.