Page 34 of Trying Not to Need You

“Because he’s a smart man, and he knows what he has to lose. It’s not just you, but all of us. We’re a unit. Mess with one sister, you mess with them all.”

“This isn’t a schoolyard scuffle.” I laugh, feeling an invisible weight lift from my shoulders, knowing my sisters have my back.

“I know that,” she says, rolling her eyes.

“For what it’s worth, I think that Leighton is right. He’d pass with flying colors.”

“And what if you’re wrong?” I ask them. “What if he takes back his words? What if he only thinks he wants me to fall in love with him? What happens when I do fall, and he walks away or changes the plan?”

“He wouldn’t do that,” Ellison says with conviction.

“I don’t know if my heart can risk it, Ells. Already, I find myself wanting to believe him, and that’s dangerous, scary even. He’s a piece of my past, my childhood crush, and he’s here in my hometown. A place I wanted to run from, only to come rushing back when times got tough. I’ve missed you all so much, and I’m sorry I left. I’m sorry it took me so long to see that this is where I was meant to be.”

“Losing Mom and Dad was hard for all of us,” Ellison says gently. “I knew you needed to spread your wings. I’m just glad you’re home.”

“You set the pace, Bay,” Leighton says, her tone gentle. “Take your time, have some dinners with him, spend time with him. Take this as slow as you need to. You never know, Macklin McBride might be your happily ever after.”

“I’m not so sure that I believe in those anymore.”

“Don’t do that,” Courtlynn says. “Don’t let Todd take that from you. What that asshole did was wrong, but that’s on him, not on you or Macklin or any other man who might want to pursue you. Although if I get a vote, Macklin’s got it.” She winks.

“Thank you,” I tell her. “All of you. It feels really good to be home.” I love being here in person, hugging them, being an active participant in their lives, and they in mine. I was a fool to ever leave this support system behind.

“Right? Staring at your tiny face on the phone screen was awful and made it impossible to do this,” Courtlynn says, standing and pulling me into a hug.

Leighton joins in when Ellison calls, “A little help here.”

We all laugh as Leighton helps her stand. After our group hug, everyone moves out of my office to get started on their day, leaving me with numbers that make sense to me, my memories from last night, and how Macklin showed up here today. I eye the KitKat that sits on my desk, and I can’t help it. I smile. No one I’ve ever dated has ever tried or put effort into it, into me. Not like Macklin seems to be determined to do.

All I can do is take it one day at a time and hope that clarity will find me.

Ten

Macklin

It’s been two weeks since Baylor stayed over at my place. Two weeks since holding her after she fell asleep. Two very long weeks of sleepless nights without her next to me. I’ve been trying to keep my word not to pressure her, yet I’m also always around. I’ve been spending more time than necessary at the stables on the estate just for a chance to see her.

However, today, I’m asking her over for dinner again. It’s Friday, and the thought of another night without her is not a pleasant one. Besides, next Monday is Christmas, and I have to give her the gift I bought.

I’ve just finished watering the horses when I hear the door to the stables creak open, and I can’t hide my smile, because every day, even knowing that she’s more than likely going to run into me, she comes to visit the stables. She could come later in the day, try to miss me, but she comes when she knows I’m here. At least that’s the story I tell myself.

Slowly, I turn to face her. “Hey, beautiful.” I walk toward her and pull her into a hug. Something else that I’ve been doing a lot of. I don’t care who knows how I feel about her, and if I’m going to make her fall in love with me, I need to pull out all the stops. If she’d let me, I’d show her, and anyone watching, every day of forever.

“Hi,” she says, drawing back and rewarding me with one of her blinding smiles. One of the good ones that reaches her eyes and tells me more than her words ever could that she’s happy to see me. “How are they today?” she asks, moving toward Buckwheat’s stall and slipping her hand over the railing to pet his neck. “Hey, boy,” she murmurs.

“They’re all good. I just finished giving them fresh water.”

She nods. “Is Macklin taking good care of you?” she asks Buckwheat, which earns her a nod, and she laughs. The sound carries and fills the stables. I love the sound of her laugh.

“You know I am,” I tell her, stepping up behind her. One hand instinctively goes to her hip, the other reaches over the railing to give the old boy some love.

“I know,” she answers softly.

I want to hold her close, but my hand on her hip is pushing it far enough. I promised her she could take the time that she needs, and I meant it, no matter how hard I have to battle temptation.

“What are your plans for the night?”

She glances over her shoulder at me. “No plans. Sophia invited me to her family's Christmas party. It’s one of many they do with all her mom’s family in Nashville, but I want to stay nearby in case Ellie goes into labor.”