Page 168 of Fallen Rook

I’d known all along there would be holes in my plan to save Enzo, but I’d done what I could to minimize them. That still left me looking like an incompetent idiot. But I never thought I’d reached the status of actual recreant.

“What am I facing here?” I asked matter-of-factly.

Zeke’s eyebrows jumped up. “Aren’t you going to defend yourself?”

“No.” I laced my fingers together. I would go down and face complete ruination, as long as I could save him. “What does the bureau want to do with me?”

“It behooves us to conduct a thorough investigation to determine what went wrong, of course.”

“Of course,” I repeated blandly.

“We’re putting you on paid leave until we’re done investigating the operation and your performance, against the standard protocol.”

This could mean anything. Prison time, getting fired, blacklisted, all three, or none at all.

“I understand.” And I did. Zeke’s reaction was, as always, spotless.

“It’d be good if you give us your version of things,” he added. “Your partner has been testifying against you. Sully is—”

“A fucking bully,” I finished for him. “Who assaulted Enzo Ferrante and has a drinking problem that can no longer be overlooked by the bureau, as indicated in the official complaint I filed after he made a joke about having Enzo raped in prison. He’s barely functioning at this point.”

Zeke opened his mouth, clamped it shut, then opened it again. “What’s the story between you and Enzo Ferrante?”

I acted like I hadn’t heard him, sick with guilt.

This was Zeke.

Zeke, who’d fought shoulder to shoulder with me on the battlefield. Zeke, who’d dragged me out of bed after Matt passed away and all I could do was stare at the ceiling and will time to rush by until it was my turn to die.

He ran a hand over his bald head, sighing. “Look, the more I know, the more I can help you. I am currently Zeke, your friend, not Zeke, your superior.” He licked his lips. “It looks bad, Tom. Let me help. What’s going on with you and the enforcer?”

“I’m in love with him.”

The words tore from my mouth without permission, but I was glad they were finally out in the open. It had killed me to keep them inside, so heavy and suffocating against my sternum.

Zeke’s expression did not change. I realized he was not surprised at all.

“Does he love you back?”

“Yes.” Fuck, I hope so.

“How could you let it happen?”

“I didn’t,” I said. “He went ahead and snatched my heart anyway. I never granted him permission.”

Zeke pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning. “Oh, Tom.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I—”

“I’m so fucking happy for you.” He smiled big. I paused, staring at him in shock.

My throat dried up. I worked around a swallow. “I… Wait, what?”

“That boy brought you back to life when I didn’t believe anything could anymore. I’ve missed the man you were before what happened with Matt. I need to meet him properly.”

“Zeke, I—”

“Not another word,” he cut me off brutally, refusing to hear more. “This is the first time, yes?”