Page 118 of One Night with Number Nineteen

Much.

Veronica’s brows lift so high they’re practically in her hairline.

“Umm…”

She rests a hand on my knee. “Want me to pretend you didn’t say that?” She gestures toward the back yard, where the rest of our crew are still occupied. “Or would you rather that I give you some advice?”

I wrinkle my nose and mutter, “I know which one my head is screaming at me to take.”

Her mouth curves. “Then I’ll ignore it and speak to your heart.”

But she doesn’t speak, not for a long moment.

Instead, she looks out at our friends—at our family—running around like lunatics on my back lawn, laughing and joking, kissing and hugging, teasing and bickering and…full of so much freaking joy.

And I think about where they started, think about all they’ve endured.

And I think about where they are now.

And…I think about where I want to be.

I close my eyes, take a long, slow breath…then exhale even and steady.

Opening them back up, I meet Veronica’s gaze. “Talk to my heart, Ronnie.”

Her mouth curves, her fingers tense on my knee.

“There will come a moment where everything inside you screams that it’s not worth the risk, that it’s too dangerous to risk your heart and happiness on another person. They may be wonderful and kind and sweet, but they’re also fallible, also human—a human who can make mistakes and hurt you and be imperfect.” She sighs, her voice filled with such incredible sadness that my eyes burn with tears. “Ignore that voice, sweetheart. Because once you let that go…”

Her eyes close and a tear slips down her cheek.

“It’s impossible to get it back.”

Thirty-Seven

Sawyer

“Mom,” I say, rubbing at my temple, at the persistent throb there, “please call me back. I have a little time before I need to head to the rink. Do you still need me to come by?”

Tap. Tap. Tap.

On a sigh, I hang up and toss my phone into the passenger seat then pop my door and climb out.

“Hey,” Ryan says, his gaze drifting toward Lainey’s house, the exterior now covered by cameras. “You okay?”

“She’s okay,” I say. “So, I’m okay.”

His eyes come to mine. But he doesn’t otherwise comment.

At least not head-on.

“Why were you pissed we showed up to help with the cameras?”

“What? I wasn’t…”

He just stares at me and my words trail off.

I sigh. “I just didn’t want you guys to waste your morning doing something I could easily do.” I shrug. “That’s all.”