Page 73 of The Blight of Hollowmire

“Your voice was… different. You spoke of balance, and the inevitability of this transformation. At the end, the Blight Mother made herself known. Apparently she exists inside you somewhere, somehow. She insinuated things of a rather prurient nature—and yes, at the end, she forced you to… to…”

He trails off, gesturing at the base of his neck.

“…to bite you?” I finish.

He nods, slumping with shame—though I cannot fathom why, since I am the one who harbors a dangerous, lustful goddess who can control me against my knowledge, or wishes.

“Well, that is all perfectly horrible,” I admit, finally coming to my feet and brushing the pine needs from my now muddy shift. “A thousand apologies, Renard. I fear they may be hollow since I wasn’t in control of my actions, but nonetheless, I offer them to you.”

“And you remember nothing else of it?” he asks again, sparking my suspicion.

“None. Why? Is there more?”

He shakes his head and mutters something unintelligible beneath his breath.

“What?”

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, then gathers himself and begins again.

“I apologize for my inappropriate display last night,” he says, his face flushing beneath his beard. “I cannot say what came over me. It was uncouth and ungentlemanly behavior hardly befitting a knight of Valehar.”

I cannot resist the urge to tell him, “Ah, but you are a knight no longer.”

The expression on his face suggests he does not appreciate the veiled teasing.

I blow out a breath.

“Renard, in all our time together—though it be a short time in the grand scheme—I have been in a constant state of humiliation. My body is no longer within my control. My emotions too often run away with me. I have gone from spoiled, outcast daughter to harbinger of destruction, and now apparently an inn for a wayward goddess. I am ill-equipped for these changes and this quest. In fact, I’ve long believed I’m ill-equipped for most of the expectations set down for me in this world. And yet, I find I’m no longer interested in apologizing for my lack. I am who I am. I am what I am. I don’t yet understand how this all will play out, but I can only do my best.”

He grunts at this, and I fight not to roll my eyes.

“What I’m saying, rather roundaboutly, is that you do not need to apologize to me. You see yourself falling short of some masculine ideal set forth by your kingdom, but I don’t see it that way. You’ve been dealt a harsh hand and you’ve risen to the occasion. Have things been easier for you because of the circumstances of your birth? Almost certainly. Have you behaved perfectly? No. But felicitations, Farmer Knight, none of us are perfect. Especially humans.”

Shifting from one foot to the other, Renard looks just about everywhere except for my face.

“We should decide what our next move is,” he says, rubbing a hand down the back of his neck.

I offer a beleaguered smile.

“Valehar. We must make for Valehar. Whatever it is waits for us beneath the castle there.”

“How can you be certain?” he asks, brows lifting.

I wiggle my dirt-covered fingers. “Let’s call it… Blight Mother’s intuition.”

He grunts again, obviously disturbed, and turns to head back to the inn. Because I’m feeling particularly merciless, I place a hand on his shoulder to stay him a moment.

“And one more thing…”

He turns, looking for all the world like he is prepared to suffer a physical blow.

Lowering my voice needlessly, since we are still alone, I rise on tiptoes to whisper in his ear.

“I rather enjoyed your ungentlemanly display.”

Though my fate weighs heavy on me today, the look of panic on his face gives me a feeling of the most remarkable lightness as I laugh all the way back to our room.

The next few days pass in a haze of simmering tension and exhaustive boredom. After returning to the inn, Renard and I packed up and ventured into the market to replenish what supplies we could. Unsurprisingly, the hungry residents of Morsell were reluctant to part with much of their untainted food, but we were able to secure a few apples, some horse bread for Magnar, and some dried fish. We’ve been spending more time hunting for our suppers, which has slowed our progress to Valehar considerably.