Page 28 of A Christmas Wish for the Village Midwife

‘It’s hard because some things you don’t want to drag Billie into. And I suppose some things she doesn’t want to be dragged into.’

‘Exactly. So I’m happy to keep going for a while. And if we get rained on, then we get rained on. It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve arrived home soaked to the bone.’

‘We’d have to stop for shelter under a tree,’ he said with a tone of mischief she recognised well. ‘And then we’d probably end up snogging because you’d look sexy and dishevelled, and I wouldn’t be able to resist.’

‘Me in my bargain raincoat? I doubt it, but thank you for saying so.’

‘You’re sexier than you think. I don’t like when you put yourself down because that’s not how I see you. I wish you could see yourself like I do because then you’d know how beautiful you are.’

Zoe flushed, her gaze going to the ground.

‘And I mean it,’ he continued. ‘I don’t say it just to get into your waterproof hiking trousers, though that would be a nice bonus if it happened.’

This time, she laughed and prodded him in the arm. ‘What about Grizzle? He wouldn’t wait around for you to finish having your wicked way.’

‘True. Next time, I’ll have to remember to bring a pocket full of dog treats to keep him good.’

‘Which he’d eat in five seconds flat.’

‘Five seconds… I could work with that.’

Zoe let out a snorting giggle. ‘Oh my God! You don’t know when to quit, do you?’

‘Not when I’m around you. I love you, and I can’t help that I fancy you like mad too. When are you going to marry me?’

‘I thought we’d been over this. We don’t need to get married, do we? At least, I don’t see a rush.’

‘No, but don’t you think it would be nice?’

Zoe had thought often about how nice it might be to walk down the aisle with Alex, but things were more complicated than that. ‘You’re all over the place today, you know. It’s not feeling at home in Thimblebury, and then it’s wanting to dive into all sorts of new projects, and then it’s getting married. It’s making me wonder if there’s something else you’re not talking about and all these other things are just a distraction. A distraction for you or for me, I couldn’t say.’

‘Is that really what you think? I was just chatting… That’s what you wanted, isn’t it? You were saying how good it is that we talk things through when we’re out like this.’

‘I know, and I do, but you’re… No, you’re fine. It’s me. Sometimes I’m looking for problems that aren’t there. I’ve had more than my share over the past few years – we both have. It’s hard to trust when things are calm that there isn’t another drama waiting to jump scare us when we least expect it. In fact, I think things being calm makes me more nervous. I’m not used to calm.’

‘I know what you mean. But since you picked up on it, maybe there is something I wanted to ask about.’

‘Ah.’

‘I don’t know why I didn’t come clean in the first place because you always know. I didn’t like to ask; I thought you might need time, but it’s been on my mind for a while now because it’s been months since we went to see the consultant and you haven’t mentioned it since.’

‘My eggs. We did talk about it, remember? A week or so after we got back from the appointment.’

‘But not since then. You said you wanted longer, and of course I have to respect that, but it was in the summer, and you haven’t said what you decided.’

‘I think I sort of did.’

‘You said you needed more time. You still need more time? You must have some idea of what you want, and I don’t want to make it about me, but⁠—’

‘That’s good because it’s really not.’

His face became a mask, but Zoe could see the reproach in his eyes. It was a difficult subject, and she had spent much of her time since her consultant appointment pretending there wasn’t a decision to be made. ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘That was uncalled for. It’s not about you, but it does affect you, I realise that. I haven’t made a decision exactly, but I still feel the same as I did when we talked about it before. I can’t say one way or another what’s for the best, but I know what my instinct is telling me.’

‘I’m not getting any younger.’

‘Neither am I.’

‘And maybe I’m being greedy wanting to think about another kid. I’d never considered it, but then I met you and… I don’t know, I just feel it would complete us.’