Page 51 of A Christmas Wish for the Village Midwife

‘Ah, come to watch the rehearsals?’ he asked.

‘Corrine’s come to talk to Magnus about what he wants for the scenery. I’ve come to gawp because I’m nosy. Who knows, I might be persuaded to paint scenery too, although I can’t promise it won’t end up looking like the result of a pre-schooler’s art class. I suppose you have to be here for moral support?’

‘I don’t mind,’ he said. ‘I can go through my emails just as well sitting here as I can at home, and this is far more interesting. Just as long as nobody tries to get me on the stage.’

‘Same. I’m happy to help out behind the scenes.’

‘Oh, me too,’ Corrine agreed, searching her handbag with a vague frown.

‘Everything all right?’ Zoe asked.

‘Oh yes…’ Corrine pulled out a bag with a look of triumph. ‘I was looking for these. Mint imperial?’ she added, opening the bag and holding it out.

The discussion on the stage seemed to get louder, pausing the conversation in the seats below so that Zoe, Simon and Corrine began to listen in.

‘No, no!’ Magnus pointed at Fliss. ‘You have to yodel that line!’

‘Have you heard my voice?’ Fliss rested her hands on her hips. ‘I sound like a navvy! I couldn’t yodel if my life depended on it!’

‘I could,’ Stacey said. Everyone turned to her. ‘Just saying.’

‘Your part is already cast, and I’m not redoing it – there isn’t time. We only have two weeks until opening night…’ Magnus gave a dismissive waft of his hand.

‘Opening night…’ Fliss huffed. ‘Opening night indeed… It’s the only night. You’re not on the West End.’

‘And I didn’t say I wanted you to recast,’ Stacey put in. ‘I only said I could yodel if you needed someone to do it. I can do it from the wings if that line really has to be yodelled.’

‘Why does it have to be yodelled?’ Fliss demanded.

‘Because,’ Magnus said through gritted teeth, ‘it’s funny.’

‘That’s debatable,’ Geoff said, and Magnus glared at him, causing Stacey to guffaw in a way that made Simon laugh too.

Magnus turned red and then threw his hands into the air. ‘Everyone take a break! I need to rethink some things.’

Everyone filed from the stage. Fliss, Charles, Stacey and Lavender came to join their impromptu audience in the front row. Geoff followed Magnus, perhaps sensing he might need to smooth some ruffled feathers if he wasn’t going to have a peeved husband for the rest of the night.

‘I see rehearsals are going well,’ Zoe said wryly.

‘Oh, swimmingly,’ Fliss replied with the air of someone who couldn’t care less and was quite prepared to walk away from the production the minute she got bored of it.

‘I’m not sure I agree with Magnus’s idea of humour,’ Charles added.

‘He’s a control freak,’ Lavender said.

Zoe stared at her.

‘Oh, I know, he’s sweet, lovely, party host Magnus normally, but let me tell you, this panto business has unhinged him.’

‘He’ll hear you!’ Stacey said, trying but failing in her bid not to laugh.

‘Let him,’ Lavender said. ‘If I’d known it was going to be like this, I wouldn’t have bothered auditioning. And it’s not like I have a decent part anyway.’

‘Who are you playing?’ Zoe asked.

‘The wicked stepmother.’

‘I’d say that’s excellent casting,’ Fliss countered with a grin.