Page 19 of A Solid Guide to Surviving a Situationship

“God, this is so pathetic!” I inhaled shakily and laughed weakly.

“It’s not pathetic,” Honey said gently, reaching for my hand.

But once the tears started, the words came spilling out.

“I miss him,” I admitted.

My throat tightened.

“And I hate the part of me still expected him to remember today.”

Silence settled around the table.

“And now I can’t even listen to Taylor Swift without crying. Even ‘Shake It Off’ sounds terribly sad!”

A pained sob escaped me.

“I know everyone thinks he’s terrible,” I continued. “But I still miss him. I miss talking to him every day. I miss the way he would randomly call me at night. The stupid jokes. God! I miss everything!”

No one interrupted.

“And the worst part is,” I said, shaking my head, “I keep thinking maybe it’s my fault.”

Andi frowned immediately. “James⁠—”

“No, listen,” I insisted. “What if I ruined it? What if I pushed him too hard? What if I should’ve just kept my mouth shut? I. AM. A. WRECK.”

Silence settled around the table.

“I keep thinking if I could just turn back time… maybe I’d do everything differently.”

My chest tightened at this thought.

“I wish there was a guide to surviving this… this tragedy!” I said out loud.

When I looked up, I noticed my friends exchanging knowing glances.

Yeah—that was how worried they were for me.

“Enough,” Andre declared, his voice careful but firm. “We’re going out tonight.”

I blinked at him. “What?”

“We’re going out,” he repeated.

“No,” I said immediately. “No, we’re not.”

“Yes, we are.”

“Why?” I groaned. “I don’t want to go anywhere. I’m perfectly happy staying here with you guys.”

Andi shook her head. “James, you just had a full emotional breakdown.”

“Exactly,” I said. “Which means I should stay home.”

Honey crossed her arms. “That’s not how this works.”

Mel nodded hesitantly. “You need to get out of this apartment.”