Page 77 of Death is Familiar

My breath caught in my throat. I didn’t like where this was going, but I had no intention of interrupting, not when he was giving me answers.

I channeled my excess energy into my grip on the steering wheel.

“Some of those boys came close though, didn’t they?” Mads flicked his gaze over my body. “Do you know how hard that was, Delilah? How many people I had to threaten, maim, and kill to keep them from getting in your pants?”

Gross. Real gross. I didn’t want to think about that too much. Correction, I didn’t want to think about that at all.

But clarity struck like a bolt of lightning.

My cursed love-life, the reason I’d taken so long to cross the line, was because of Mads. “Oh my god, you killed him, didn’t you?” Isaiah, the first boy I dated with any seriousness who was found dead in the public pool.

“To be fair, I didn’t plan on killing him. It just happened.”

“He drowned! How was that a mistake?”

“It’s not my fault he tried to breathe under water, if he gave me two more seconds, I would have pulled him up, but he went full on panic mode, didn’t he? Started breathing in water like he had gills!”

“And Liam. You broke his legs! His family moved cross-country after that!”

“Nothing was allowed to come between you and your destiny for the Seal. You know that, right? If it wasn’t me, it would have been someone else. And I was a fucking saint to you.”

“What happened to Peter?” Peter and his family had just disappeared. The police didn’t even go looking for him.

“Nothing happened to Peter.”

“Tell me the fucking truth, Mads!”

Mads grabbed ahold of the emergency brake and yanked. Both of us jerked forwards, seat belts locking us into place, as the car came careening to a stop. I was losing control of the situation. The car being in motion was my only upper hand.

“I am! Peter is living happily in Minnesota with his wife and three children.”

“You’re lying.”

“I think you wish I were lying. Because the truth is not something you want to consider.”

“And what truth is that?”

“That Peter and his parents were working with me.”

No. “No!” More of my life was a lie. So much of it had been manipulated.

My breathing came hard and fast. I'd shoved the memories of Isaiah, Liam, and Peter, so far back in my mental drawer that I rarely thought about them because the pain of their loss still hurt. Now, I had to add two more people on my already overtaxed conscience. Isaiah died because of me. Liam’s legs were broken, his family uprooted, because of me. And Peter, while he and his family had betrayed me, I felt a strange sense of relief, all because I was not the source of another family’s pain and suffering, even if their actions caused mine.

Before Mads’ revelation, I had the luxury of thinking the violence of my youth was unrelated, that it had been a string of bad luck. A curse on me, but in reality, I was the curse. I brought Mads upon them and I hadn’t even known it.

“Now, get out of the car, Delilah.” Mads fixed the pistol on me again. “We’ll be switching vehicles.”

With the car stopped, I had two minutes. Two minutes to get everything I needed.

Following Mads’ directions wasn’t part of the plan.

I scanned our surroundings. With no other vehicle in sight, Mads must have had another vehicle stored somewhere or otherwise coordinated pick up. But with how flat the terrain was, we’d be able to see someone coming from a mile away. I eyed the cornfield to my left. Despite it being July, the crop was already shoulder height. It was my one and only shot at stalling. “Tell me everything and I just might come willingly.”

He pointed the pistol at my legs. “I think you’re over estimating how much of you has to be intact for you to play your role.” It was his way of telling me I was only of use from the waist up. I held back the urge to dry-heave.

“I think you’re underestimating how fast I’ll bleed out. Now, convince me to come willingly, or shoot me and get this over with.”

Oh god, why did I say that?