Page 79 of The Intimacy of Finding You

Looking off to the side, I started to evade the question altogether. I stopped myself, whispering to him. “I’ve never had sex before. I want my first time to be with you.”

“Oh, Callum.” He rested his forehead on mine, closing his eyes. “Fuck, you wanna share that with me? Really?”

“Yeah, I do. I’ve never wanted to share it with anyone else. Just you, Tobi. It’s always been you.”

“Jesus.” He panted before slightly shaking his head. “God, I love you. Do you have lube? And condoms?”

My cheeks got warmer, thinking back to earlier in the day. “I bought some at a different store while Jack was getting the sheet. I knew I wanted to ask, and I know you didn't test positive for anything at the doctor, so, um, if you wanted to go without a condom, I’m also okay with that.”

He straightened up on my lap, his eyes flicking over my face before a smile started on his lips. “Yeah, baby. That sounds amazing.” He glanced at the couch before getting off me. “But we’re gonna have to move to our bed.”

Our bed. We’d have to move to our bed. The same bed I’d been waiting so anxiously to do this exact thing in since I’d thought of the idea.

With sunlight trailing his heels, Tobi led me by the hand up the stairs and into our bedroom, bypassing the guest room.

Fuck, I liked our bed a whole lot more when it was our bed, and not just mine.

chapter thirty-seven

I couldn’t get enough of him. All of him. His hands, his fingers, his skin… All of it was burned into memory now, and knowing I’d never have to forget them again? It just made it all so much better. He peeled my shirt off, gently guiding me to lie on my back.

He never took his hands completely off me, which sort of made it difficult for me to take his shirt off, but I didn’t mind the song and dance we had to do to get there. I watched his bare back as he kissed down my chest, admiring the soft outline of his shoulder blades as they moved beneath his skin.

It was mesmerizing to watch. Tantalizing to feel. Each press of his lips on my body brought me closer and closer to a kind of relaxation I never knew existed. The constant racing thoughts in my head stopped. Nothing was gripping at my heart, forcing it to pound, fueled by pure anxiety. There was no anxiety. There was just Tobi.

And Tobi was unbuttoning my jeans, nudging my hips so I’d lift enough for him to lower them. I panted as I watched, staring into his eyes as he looked up at me. “Doing okay?” he asked.

I nodded, whimpering through an answer. “Yes. Yes, I’m good, keep going.”

He didn’t take his eyes off me as he sat up on his knees, unbuttoning his jeans as well. My focus was glued to his hands, following every twitch of every muscle in them as he pulled them and his boxers off, hastily throwing them to the floor.

For the first time in almost twelve years, Tobi was completely bare before me. “So gorgeous,” I whispered.

He ran his hands up my legs, curving when he got to my thighs. They were so close to my cock, just an inch away from touching me. I was already so fucking hard, merely a touch away from losing control. A hair trigger.

“You’re beautiful, Cal.” He leaned down, pressing a kiss right above my belly button. “So fucking gorgeous.” Another below it. “Just can’t get enough of you.” One of his hands slid over, just resting on my dick.

I whimpered as my hips moved on their own, desperate to find pressure where I could. His hand was so warm, and his lips felt like fucking heaven, and I just needed him so badly. So fucking badly. “Tobi, please.”

He wrapped his fingers around my shaft, giving me a painfully slow jerk. “Is this what you want? Is this what you need, baby?”

I nodded vigorously. “Yes, yes, please.”

The eye contact he gave me as he settled between my legs should not have been so fucking hot, but it was. It really fucking was. I couldn’t look away as he stuck his tongue out and licked along my tip, sending a shock straight up my spine.

I threw my head back, taking in a shuddering breath that ended in a whine. “Oh, god, your mouth.”

He wrapped his lips around me, sucking me in. He gently nudged my legs until I had them bent, my toes curling into the bedsheet beneath us. I couldn’t handle it. I was so fucking overwhelmed with everything happening in my body, I didn’t know what else to do.

I reached out, placing a hand on top of his head as I writhed beneath him, struggling to keep my hips planted where they were.

“Stay still, baby. Hand me the lube.”

Oh, god. The lube. Oh, fuck, he was gonna do it, wasn’t he? My hole twitched at the thought as I halfway turned, reaching into the nightstand drawer.

He took it from my hand, opened the cap, and coated his finger with a generous amount. “Relax for me. Focus on my mouth, okay?”

I nodded, which turned into my eyes rolling in the back of my head as he took me to the back of his throat. One of his fingers trailed down, slowly circling my hole. It was fucking electric, forcing a whine straight from my chest. I already wanted more. I was already craving so much more.