Page 67 of The Intimacy of Control

“It doesn’t have to make sense, sweetie. It just has to feel right. Does it feel right?”

“I’ve never felt more right in my entire life.”

He pulled back, his teeth shining brightly along with his smile. “Okay, then. Will you be my boyfriend? Officially? No friend dates. No friends with benefits. Just me and you.”

I glanced at the river behind him. It didn’t look as scary anymore. Not when he was in front of it. I slid my hands down his arms, taking his hands in mine. “Yeah, Forrest. I’ll be your boyfriend.”

His arms wrapped around me in a tight hug, pressing my chest against his as close as possible. “Thank you for bringing me here. Thank you for facing your fear. I’m so damn proud of you.”

“Crew and Price told me about this place. They said it had magical healing powers, and I’d say that’s very true.”

“I agree.” He pressed his nose into my hair. “I feel very healed right now.”

I laughed into his shoulder. “Me too. But, uh, can we go for real now? I got us a hotel nearby. I think I’m at my limit of fear-facing for the day.”

“Yeah, baby. Let’s go.”

Even though it took Forrest holding my hand the entire way, we made it back to my car in one piece. When I got behind the wheel, I realized that I felt like I’d died again. Only this time, I came back a whole new man. A more hopeful man. A man in love and not afraid to say it. Thank God for the butterfly effect.

chapter twenty-three

The hotel room was fucking huge. Jack wouldn’t tell me how much he’d spent on it, but I knew it had to have been a couple hundred bucks for one night. We had to drive a little backward into a different city to get here—Newton, which I think was the name of the city River said the new Fire and Ice location would be in. He said he’d be working there within the next couple of months, last I checked.

Jack dropped our bags onto the bed, turning and putting his hands on his hips. “This is a lot fancier than I thought it was going to be.”

“Oh, yeah. It’s really nice. How much did you say it was again?”

He glared at me. “I’m not telling you. You’ll just goad me about it being too much and shit.”

Well, he had a point. “What can I say?” I wandered to the bathroom, opening the door and peeking my head in. “Oh, wow. It has a jacuzzi.”

“It has a what?”

“Jacuzzi.”

“There’s a shower, though, right?”

I stepped further in, feeling the side of the wall for the light switch. “Uh, yeah, there is. Just also a big-ass mirror, two sinks, a jacuzzi, and way more space than necessary.”

I heard Jack sigh from behind me. “Like your bathroom. I asked for a room specifically with a regular tub, but what are you gonna do? Make people listen to you?”

I almost asked why it was such a big deal, but then I remembered. Of course, it was a big deal to him. Flicking the light off, I turned to him and leaned against the doorframe. He was so handsome. So beautiful.

He was mine.

No more friend dates. No more pretending like the sex was only sex. No more convincing myself that I could do this without feelings, because now there were feelings. All the feelings.

His lips turned up as he glanced away from my gaze. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because I can. Because I’m still trying to process that someone as gorgeous as you is really mine.”

“I’m yours, Forrest. Just yours, okay?” He shoved his hand into his pockets, fishing for something as he walked to the balcony. “I’m going to smoke.”

It was dark outside now. We’d spent most of the day driving. If he were anyone else, I think I would’ve gotten bored and murdered him on the way. Sitting in a car for hours on end sounded like a nightmare, yet it was easy with him.

We’d talked about everything and nothing at the same time, taking turns picking music from his phone’s playlist. I doubted he’d do that with anyone else, seeing as he said he struggled with control. I’d never noticed it outside of him saying once that he was a bit of a control freak, which made me think that maybe he gave me more than he even realized.

He loved when I took, and I loved when he gave. My favorite pastime.