Page 75 of The Intimacy of Control

“Callum!” I admonished. What a fucking meddler.

He held his hands up in defense. “I’m simply making conversation. I knew you guys were going to stay together the moment Jack here freaked out about me asking about you. There was something different about his reaction.”

Uh-huh. Simply making conversation, my ass. There was no way he'd have known from that alone.

Forrest turned to me with an eyebrow raised. “Oh, really? You freaked out about me?”

“I did not.”

“He so did. Tobi was there; he can back me up. Fishy was there, too. He’d say the same thing.”

“Fishy?” Forrest questioned.

I leaned closer to him, whispering. “Their dog’s name. Fishbowl. Fishy for short.”

Forrest laughed loudly, the sound going straight to my heart. “You named your dog Fishbowl?”

“Don’t ask questions, Forrest. Cal will get really defensive about it.”

Cal nodded, confirming it. “I have a bit of a knee-jerk reaction when it comes to my baby. He’s a sweet, round boy who flops like a fish and pees when he’s excited.”

“Oh, I need to meet this dog at some point.”

“Wanna see a picture?”

“Uh, duh.”

Callum was digging in his pocket to get his phone out, but Tobi stopped him, placing his hand over Callum’s. “Hold on. Before you start gushin’ about Fishy for thirty minutes, I wanna say something.”

Cal pulled his hand out of his pocket, leaning back. “Okay. Go ahead, baby.”

I gripped onto Forrest’s arm while Tobi collected himself. He chewed on his bottom lip for a second before clearing his throat and looking up at Forrest. “I’m sorry about the other day. Truly. I feel really fuckin’ bad about it.”

Forrest was already shaking his head before he’d finished. “Please don’t feel bad. I already told Jack that I understood. Because I do. We didn’t know you had walked in, and if I’d heard the back door, I would’ve moved away.”

I couldn’t help but wince, remembering everything in excruciating detail. Turning around, only to find Tobi punching Forrest over and over again. How fucking panicked I’d been because Tobi was panicking and I had no idea what to do. Trying to pull Tobi off Forrest, the man I loved, even if I hadn’t wanted to admit it yet.

Tobi’s voice was quieter, his face falling into a deep frown. “That didn’t give me the right to hurt you like that. Jack told me who you were, but I was in such a fucked-up state, I couldn’t really process it. You’re obviously a good guy. I just… I don’t know. I’m sensitive to that sort of stuff, so I reacted, and that’s on me. Not y’all.”

I leaned forward, rubbing my hands together anxiously. I just needed to do something with my body. Though he was saying it was fine, I still felt awful about it. “Cal told me he was going to come by, and I forgot. I wouldn’t have invited Forrest to come see me if I’d remembered someone was coming. I’m sorry for forgetting, and we’re both sorry that you walked in on us.”

“Yeah. It may not be anyone’s fault in particular, but it seems like we all have something we’re sorry about.” Forrest rubbed a soothing hand up and down my back. “Thank you, though. For coming here and meeting me officially. I want to be a part of you guys’ lives, just like I’m going to be a part of Jack’s life.”

It took Tobi a second, but his eyebrows went from worried and scrunched together to relaxed as he seemed to accept it for what it was. An olive branch. Forgiveness and acceptance. Understanding. “I want that too. We both do. Thank you for forgiving me. Seriously.”

“Of course.” Forrest smiled. “So, how long have you guys been together? Tobi, you said you were gone for a decade?”

Tobi and Callum shared a look, both of their eyes widening before dissolving into laughs. Cal nudged Tobi’s shoulder before tugging him close. “Well, it all really started with that big snowstorm twelve years ago…”

The story was a long one, even if they didn’t add in all the super personal details. By the time we’d left Pride and Pages, it was late enough that all I wanted to do was go home and sleep. The only thing that would’ve made it better was if Forrest was with me. He’d make sure I got a good night’s rest, and I’d get to cuddle him into oblivion.

A win-win situation.

He’d only been over that one time on my birthday, which did scare me a little bit. Whether it made sense or not was heavily debatable. Forrest had already seen such a large part of me. It felt like if he came to my house, that’d solidify it. If someone got to be in my home, that meant they were going to stay in my life. I had to commit to them, which meant giving up such a large part of my control and my soul all at once.

We were getting close to my car. I threaded my fingers through Forrest’s, holding his hand in mine. He looked down at me with a smile on his face, which I didn’t return. Instead, I cleared my throat and took a deep breath because something like this required one. Asking him to come stay the night was different from him saying he wanted to come over and me letting him.

I was the one offering this piece of myself to him.