Page 69 of Code Name: Harbor

Finn’s voice went rough on that last sentence and without thought, I slipped my hand in his because he was talking about Jim in the past tense and I knew it was a loss that hurt deep.

He cleared his throat. “He had a heart attack in his kitchen and I’m the one who found him. I tried to do CPR, but he’d been there too long.”

“Finn.”

His gaze came to mine and he squeezed my hand. “He left everything to me, The Quartermaster being the one thing that could assure that I continue in his footsteps. I built my own crew. Brought Connie on, found Marcus… there are others, of course.”

“So you smuggle art,” I said, almost reverently rolling it on my tongue. But a thought struck me. “Why? You have the gallery now.”

Finn’s smile was without light. “I do it because I’m good at it,” he said quietly. “I do it because the money is incalculable. I do it because I came from nothing and now I have everything. It’s such a shallow desire, but it’s the truth. And I’m sorry if it makes me a bad person, but there isn’t one part of that money I regret making.”

I leaned over, put my head on his shoulder. “You’re a good man, Finn. Not a bad person at all.”

I could feel the relief flow from his body into mine. He twisted his neck, kissed the side of my head.

“I built a good life… something Jim and my mother would have been proud of. I had Marcus and I had Connie and I had a gallery I loved that was paying for itself.” He looked at me then, his expression once again tortured. “And then I pulled a woman out of the water and now I don’t have a graceful way to stop thinking about her.”

I bit the inside of my cheek, a flood of warmth sweeping through me as my heart expanded to what felt like double its normal size.

“I’m worried, Josie,” he said, his eyes hard and unyielding. “I just drew the deepest line I’ve ever made with a person I thoroughly trusted and I don’t know if it’s going to hold. If it doesn’t hold, I want you to know exactly who I am before any of it lands on me. I don’t want you finding out from a federal indictment what your boyfriend does for a living. I’d rather you find out from me, in your living room, along with the knowledge that I’ve got some pretty deep feelings going on here.”

“Oh, wow,” I breathed out. Yes, it was all fucked up and there was danger and Finn was a bona fide criminal, but I just didn’t care. At that moment, this man laid his heart bare. I put my palms to his cheeks. “Thank you for trusting me with all of that. I think you knew you could tell me because it’s obvious that I feel the same way about you.”

He nodded and I leaned in to give him a small kiss.

When I pulled back, that same hardened expression was on his face. “I want you to leave Seattle.”

“What? No way.”

“You have to leave, Josie. Go somewhere Mikhail can’t find you on a map. Anywhere, just not here.”

“We’ve had this discussion before,” I said in exasperation as my hands fell away.

“Yeah… back when Mikhail was just guessing about you. But if Connie goes to him… he’s going to come in hard.”

“No,” I said stubbornly. “I can’t. I have a job to do, Finn. And I’m a trained operative, you know. I can take care of myself.”

“Jesus, Josie,” he grumbled. “Can you not understand how dangerous this is?”

“I know very well how dangerous it is, Finn. I was on that dock with Mikhail shooting at me. I’m not stupid, you know.”

“I know you’re not,” he heaved out, taking my hand in his. “I’m just not used to caring for someone like this and the thought of something happening to you is too much to bear.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. But I’m not leaving. You’re going to have to find some way to reconcile that. I won’t be the woman who runs and lets other women get loaded into a van because she got scared. I won’t be that person. I’d rather be dead.”

“Don’t say that,” he snarled.

“I’m saying it because it’s true.” I took his hands. “Now, let’s figure out a way to keep me safe, okay?”

He squeezed my hands as he stared at them and eventually nodded.

“Finn.”

His head came up and those beautiful green eyes, framed in long black lashes, stared at me.

“Would you walk away from it? The smuggling… if I asked you to?”

He didn’t answer right away and kept staring at our hands for what felt like a long time.