Page 7 of Ashes to Ash’s

“Tomorrow we’re going to help fuckhead move him and Em into their new place. You’re to stay here, and carry on with your studies, so you’re not falling behind. You don’t need school shit being a burden on you. Get it over with, and get on with life, right?”

I shrugged, but I was already plotting. Tomorrow was football practice, and even though I wasn’t in school with the others, you can bet your ass I’d be going to that. It’d be the only place I could see Cal, and he had to know that, in class with him or not, he was still mine.

“Ash?” I groaned, and stared at him silently, and he rolled his eyes, glancing at the door.

“Whatever you’re planning, just don’t get fucking caught, okay? Remember to always be smart about this stuff. Always have a way out, and never commit a crime in front of someone who can identify you later. Stealth. That’s the key.”

This was why dad Gray was the fucking best. He understood. He got it. He could see that this study shit wasn’t my priority, or even mildly keeping my interest. My interest was firmly on the guy I was becoming obsessed with, and my classwork was going to be completely fucking ignored the second I was alone.

Dad pushed the door closed, and returned to sit beside me in the spare chair that I guess pervy Ethan used to sit his lame ass in.

“Listen, I get that you like this boy, and he might not be too receptive right now, but that doesn’t mean that can’t change over time. Spend time around him, but try not to push too hard until you’re both of legal age. If he’s still not on side by then, I’ll help you take him somewhere, and you can put more concentrated effort in.”

He looked deadly serious, but that’s dad, he’s fully invested in helping love happen, no matter what it takes. He gets that sometimes it needs to be coerced into existence.

“Take him somewhere? Like Ethan did to Em?”

His eyes narrowed for a moment. “That prick is lucky he did things the way we would have, or he’d be dead. If Em hadn’t been in love with him, he’d be dead anyway, but we’d never stand between you kids and the people you want. Sometimes love needs a helping hand, that’s all.”

Helping hand like kidnapping and keeping someone locked up, yeah right. Still, if it came to that, I’d do it. Was that a freaky thing for a fifteen year old to be planning? Sure. Did I care? What do you think?

I was left to my own devices the next day, and thankfully Nix and Cole were at school all day, now the only Cross kids allowed inside a school, so I could do what I wanted. It started with sleeping late, and waking up to thoughts of Cal, and how I’d finally make him mine.

I grabbed my kit after lunch and headed out for the football club, aiming to arrive early, just in case he did too. He wouldn’t see me coming, but I’d be ready for him. When he did arrive though, he was with two other guys our age, and saw me lurking in the shadows. Imagine my shock when he broke away from them and headed in my direction.

“Ash,” he muttered, stepping closer than I’d expected he’d ever willingly get.

“You’ve never willingly approached me before. Does my bad boy behaviour make you hard?”

Cal’s eyes widened and he backed up a step. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry you got expelled. Why do you have to keep saying demented shit like that to me? Is it any wonder I won’t hang with you?”

I advanced on him, and he backed into the shadows, matching me pace for pace, until his back hit the wall, a soft grunt leaving his sweet lips.

“Not looking to hang with you, Cal. I want you.”

His lips trembled a little and he dropped his head. “You shouldn’t say stuff like that. It’s not right.”

“What’s not right is us being here in the shadows where nobody can see, and yet we’re not even touching. Tell me I can touch you, Cal.”

Callum

He was freaking me out! How the hell did he think his behaviour was okay? Why the hell would he think I’d want him to touch me? I ignored the voice in the back of my head, the one saying, ‘but you kinda do’, because my parents would freak if they thought I was interested in a boy. It wasn’t the done thing. It was wrong. Very wrong.

“If you don’t say it, I’m gonna fucking kiss you anyway.”

What?! Panic surged in my chest and I fought to drag air into my lungs.

“No! What’s wrong with you? This isn’t… it’s not right, and I don’t want you to do that. Please, Ash, this isn’t normal behaviour. We’re boys. We kiss girls, not each other.”

He smirked. “So delightfully innocent, aren’t you? That’s okay, so am I. I’ve never kissed a girl or a guy before. I want you to be my first, and I’d better be your fucking first, or someone dies.”

Oh my god.

Ash pressed a hand against the wall right by my head, trapping me with his body. Why was he standing so close to me? I could feel his body heat, since he was that close. Scarily close.

“Ash, please,” I whispered as he leaned closer. He really thought he was going to kiss me!

His lips hovered over mine, and for a split second I wondered why he was holding back, when suddenly the thought didn’t seem so horrifying. Once it happened, I couldn’t change it. It would just be what happened. I wouldn’t have a decision to make, because you can’t decide on things that already happened. There was almost comfort in having the decision taken from me, because then I was just reacting to something, instead of choosing it.