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That makes me laugh. “Does it make you feel young again?”

Grady chuckles. “I once made out with Sadie Plummer in the back seat of a Honda Pilot, in the parking lot of the administration building, and just as we were getting to the good part, we realized neither of us had a condom. So I couldn’t have sex then either.”

We dissolve into an amused laughter that hits at the same time the storm outside thunders and the one inside us subsides.

I feel better.

So much better.

He’s not being a prick about his blue balls.

“Hey.” He taps me on the knee with the tips of his fingers. “Thanks for trusting I’m not a creep who’s going to pressure you when we’re alone. I’m fine taking things slow.”

We grin at each other; Grady reaches for my hand, lacing our fingers.

“I don’t feel any pressure,” I lie.

But mostly I’m lying to myself.

Fake it till you make it.

Chapter 35

Hayes

I tell myself this is a good idea.

It’s not a grand gesture; it’s coffee.

Simple.

Easy.

What could possibly go wrong?

Loon Landing Café is three blocks from the city hall, where the rec department has its offices, my Google search confirmed—which means I could casually show up with a latte in hand before she even hears I’m back in town and say something easy like:

Hey. I’m in town for a few days and thought I would . . .

Hey. I missed you more than I wanted to . . .

Benny says hi . . .

Hey. I should have kissed you goodbye longer and not let you leave . . .

I push through the coffee shop door, the bell tinkling like a penny in a mason jar, my bomber jacket dripping with a thin line of Seattle rain. Stepping forward to order, I rack my brain for Layla’s previous orders and give the young woman behind the counter a tight smile.

My pulse throbs as I repeat my order, scared to fuck it up. But it’s the thought that counts, yeah? She’s going to be shocked and—

I’m not nervous.

I’m not.

All lies—I’m humming like a live wire. Charged. Heart pounding too hard. Fingers clumsy as I reach for the drinks the barista sets down. One glance through the rain-smeared windows shows an empty sidewalk—no surprise with this miserable weather.

Winter’s coming. Benny will lose her mind over the snow.

I pivot to go—