Page 180 of We Drank the Dawn

I considered borrowing one, but my days of taking without permission were behind me. I’d stolen enough from Tag as it was. A deep breath pulled into my chest, and I wondered how long my lungs would keep working. Even though paramedics showed up, I refused to let them look at me.

Pulled thin by all the stress, Hollie had yelled at me to sit down and let them check.

She cried when I walked away.

Whatever—I didn’t care.

Some people deserved to keep breathing, but I wasn’t sure I was one of them. If my lungs wanted to malfunction in the next forty-eight hours, I voted to just let it happen.

“You ruin everything.” Voices echoed in my memory.

By the time I got three-quarters down the driveway, an engine growled and headlights flashed.

Tag.

I swore, kicking rocks in frustration.

Adrenaline charged through my veins as I looked for a tree or a bush to hide behind. But, considering the driveway had pastures on both sides, I was out in the open—screwed.

Flopping down flat in a ditch wouldn’t prevent him from seeing me, either.

My best chance was to play this off.

As expected, Tag’s truck rolled to a halt, his headlights blinding me. He flicked them off and jumped out of the driver’s seat. “Coop? What are you doin’ out here?”

“I…I gotta go into town.”

“Why aren’t you drivin’ a truck?”

“I needed a walk.”

He hesitated, hands coming to his hips. “Everything alright?”

“Fine.” I tried to push past him.

“Whoa—whoa. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing—”

“I hear it in your voice. Something happened.” He put a hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t touch me!” I jerked my shoulder away. My voice was sharper than I meant for it to be, but I was two beats short of dissociating again and I needed him to lay off.

His hands lifted to the sides of his face, surrendering. “Hey, Coop. It’s alright.”

“Toughen up. You’re such an embarrassment.”

“It’s not alright,” I spat. “It’s not.”

“Is this about the fire? Wait—” After a beat, his voice came quiet, sad. “You’re leavin’ again, aren’t you?”

A few moments of silence fell before I answered, “I can’t be here.”

“Why?”

“Because all I do is fuck everything up.” I yelled because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t hear myself over Greg, over Sloan, over Mom.

“Get out of the car.”