Page 86 of Let’s Be Real

I sucked in a shaky breath. “I have good things.”

“You know what we’re talking about. You’ve only ever had one good boyfriend, and you broke up with him because he was too nice.”

“That was a long time ago.”

“Doesn’t matter.” He sighed into my hair. “It was the start of this downhill slide you’ve been on. The men you choose are a form of self-harm. You have to see that.”

I gave him a weak shove. “You’re one to talk.”

“I don’t choose men.”

I scoffed. “You don’t choose anyone.”

He hummed. “We’re a pair of avoidants. It’s a wonder we aren’t repelled by each other.”

“It’s because we know we’ll never fall in love.” I let my head fall on his shoulder. “It’s safe here.”

“It is.” He patted my arm, but I wished it was Nate holding me, running his fingers through my hair. “I’m not all you need, though. You’re a lover girl, Sammie. You’ve always wanted a storybook ending, and that means having a prince-like dude sweep you off your feet. There’s no one more princely than my big brother.”

I had to pinch the underside of my leg to keep from crying. “I can’t believe you want me to be with Nate.”

“Mostly, I think that’s what you want.” He squeezed me one last time before letting go. Adrian had reached his quota for physical affection for the day. Honestly, I was a little taken aback at how much he’d given. I must have looked like a sad sack.

“It’s not going to happen,” I said.

“Because you’re under the belief you can’t sustain a long-term relationship.” He shook his head. “That’s one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard. Look at you and me.”

“We’re a mess, Ade.”

“We’re really not. Well, maybe I am, but I’ve been counting on you to come to your senses and be the healthy, successful one. Don’t let me down now.”

I let out a dry laugh. “No pressure or anything.”

“Absolutely none. Just my mental health, self-worth and future are riding on you finally figuring things out.”

“And this is the example of a healthy, long-term relationship you want to use?”

He shrugged. “It’s not for anyone but us to understand.” Then he gave my shoulder a nudge. “Go upstairs and get Nate. You have my blessing.”

I didn’t move. “It’s over, buddy. I promised I’d leave him at peace, and I really meant it.”

Disappointment distorted his features. “So you’re going to hurt yourself before he can? What if he was never going to hurt you and you’re walking away from that?”

“I don’t know.” I pinched the back of my thigh again, to feel something other than the fathomless pit in my stomach. “I don’t know how to answer you.”

“Sammie…” he sighed. “I don’t like this.”

“I don’t either.” What was there to like? I knew what I was walking away from. The same way I knew I’d eventually find some other subpar guy who drove too fast or wouldn’t stop texting his ex or hated my friendship with Adrian, and I’d say, “Hey! You look like the one for me!”

It was a pattern. Ade was right. But there was comfort in the familiar. At least I knew how it would all end. At least I knew I’d be okay when it did.

He looked at me for a long time before groaning. “All right. I’m dropping it for the time being. I see you’re impersonating a brick wall.” He slapped my knee. “We missed spin, but your big ass still needs to work out. Let’s hit the road.”

“Wrong. It’s your flabby abs that need the workout.”

We worked out. We got smoothies. We were as normal as we could be while Adrian gave me the stink eye and I tried my damnedest not to focus on all the hard truths he’d said to me.

When we parted, he gave me a hug and promised we were okay.