Page 32 of An Orphan for the Broken Duke

Rhys felt like a damn fool.

He sat alone in his office with no work to be done. It was only him and his thoughts… which were as depressing as they were revelatory.

Even when I try to do the right thing, I end up failing.

And to think that he had been so proud of himself too. When he had told Violet of the governess whom he hired, the plans that he had made, he had pictured her gratitude, as he had imagined that she would be beside herself with pride.

Typically, as he should have guessed, her reaction was the opposite of that. She had not been impressed. She had not been elated. She had pointed out, rightfully, that he was completely missing the point of what he and she were trying to do. How wrong he was!

It reminded him of an early conversation that they had, where he had argued that children needed safety and security, and she had refuted his claim by stating that love and warmth were what was best. At the time, he thought her idealistic and foolish. Now, he could not help but agree with her.

A lesson I wish I had learned years ago…

What might have happened if he had treated Eleanor with love, rather than rules? What might his life be like now, had he tried to nurture her impulses, had he shown her that he cared for her, rather than making demands and forcing his strictness onto her? She would likely still be alive.

He sank down in his chair, depression setting in, just as he began to wonder if this whole thing was not a horrible mistake. Sometimes, a person was simply too far gone to be fixed…

A knock at the door forced him to sit up.

“Rhys…” Another gentle knock and the door popped open. “Might we speak for a moment?”

He thought to bark at her, to send her away. The last thing that Rhys wanted was to look weak in front of Violet. But the moment that she poked her head through the door, the second that he saw the sadness in her eyes, he found the fight leaving him.

What good was strength if you were alone? What was the point of power and safety if there was nobody to keep safe?

“What is it, Violet?” he sighed as he sank back in his chair. “If you have come to accuse me further of wrongdoing, I would prefer it if you kept such opinions to yourself. Your point was well made.

“No, it’s nothing like that.” She gently closed the door and then approached the desk. She walked with her hands clasped before her, and there was no sense of self-righteousness or pride in her. “I have come to apologize.”

“What for? You were right in what you said just now. My efforts to force rules and discipline onto Lucy are misguided and will likely have the opposite effect of what I intend.”

“But your intentions are right,” she said. “Even if there are a little…” She smiled gently. “As you said, misguided.”

“I do not know what I am doing,” he said. “Nor will I ever, I think. From now on, Violet, you do as you think is best with Lucy. And I will stay out of your way. Then, at least, she might at least stand a chance of being happy.”

“I do not believe that.”

“I am sure you do,” he scoffed.

“I was wrong just now,” she said, firming her tone. “That is why I am here. What I said….” She bit her lip, and she truly looked upset. “I did not mean to throw it in your face…” Her chin wavered. “What you told me yesterday, of your sister. It was wrong of me to even think of bringing that up.”

He appreciated her kind words. Truly, that she would think of coming up here to apologize… she was a better person than he deserved. And although she had almost gone too far, she was still correct in what she said.

Rhys might have liked to have been angry with her, but he simply could not bring himself to feel that way.

“Perhaps,” he said. “But that makes your words no less true. Although I do appreciate the apology.” He was sure to smile, even if it was weak. “Thank you, Violet.”

Her expression hardened. “Your sister’s death was not your fault.”

“It was,” he said.

“No,” she pressed. “It was not. While I will not stand here and claim that you are a warm and loving person…” She laughed gently. “Nor will I pretend that you are the type who inspires such feelings. I see now that you do mean right by Lucy, as I am sure you meant right by your sister. Whatever happened there, you meant to do the right thing.”

“And yet, the wrong thing happened. My fault.”

“So, what then? You mean to give up? One mistake and that is it?”

“It is not one mistake,” he said. “You heard me just now. I…” He groaned. “Even when I try and do the right thing, I have a tendency to make things worse. I want to do right by Lucy, but whatever I do is bound to push her away. But you…” He shook his head. “She loves you, she trusts you, and she wants you to be in her life.”