Page 68 of An Orphan for the Broken Duke

Violet turned and skulked back down the hall. She considered telling Rhys the truth, but she resisted that urge. And it was not done out of pettiness or spite. Rather, it was done because of Lucy. The girl deserved a father who loved her… a father who was capable of such a thing. That man was not Rhys, nor would it ever be.

A shame too, because for a moment there, Violet had dared to trust again… a mistake that she would not make a second time.

Twenty-Five

“You do not have to do this,” Rose said to Violet. It was not the first time that such words had left her sister’s mouth, and Violet was certain it would not be the last. “You are upset, Violet. Angry. Please, just wait until the morning. Sleep on it.”

The two sisters stood by the open doorway to the nursery. While the room itself was cloaked in darkness, Violet saw clearly the cot against the back wall that held Lucy. She could imagine the little girl fast asleep, totally at peace, assured that everything in her life was finally perfect and as it should be.

It broke Violet’s heart.

“I am not angry,” Violet said as she watched the cot. “Nor am I…” She grimaced. “Nor am I upset.”

“Then what are you?” Rose demanded. “Because whatever this is, it is not the action of a person in control of their emotions.”

“I am tired, Rose,” Violet sighed as her shoulders dropped; there was a weight that sat upon them, and Violet was desperate to free herself of that weight, no matter the cost. “That is what I am. Tired and sick of feeling as such.”

“And this is the answer?” Rose demanded. “Do you really think that doing this will make a difference? It is likely only to make you feel worse.”

“Worse?” Violet laughed bitterly. “I doubt that is possible.”

“Please, Violet.” Rose took her by the arm and pulled her so that Violet was forced to turn and look at her sister. “I know you believe that you are doing the right thing, and I understand why. But there must be another way. Think of Lucy. What will she think when she wakes up to find you gone?”

“Lucy is exactly who I am thinking about.” Violet gently pulled her arm free and turned to look at the cot once more; inside, she pictured Lucy fast asleep. “While you think that I am doing this for myself, it is for Lucy. Everything I do is for her.”

“You cannot possibly believe that.”

“This is how it always is,” Violet said, her voice so soft that it came out in a whisper. “For as long as I can remember. Everything I do, every choice I made… the hardest ones, especially. What I want does not matter, and if it helps those who I love, Rose…” She turned and looked pleadingly at her sister. She needed Rose on her side. “Is that not the most important thing?”

“What of you?” Rose pressed. “Why do you not deserve to be happy?”

Violet’s laughter was forced. “Perhaps one day I will be? Perhaps doing this…” She turned again to look at the cot. “Perhaps this is what is needed so that I might find happiness.” More forced laughter. “If such a thing even exists.”

“Violet…” Rose’s voice cracked with pain.

“I have decided, Rose, and nothing you say will change my mind.”

“You are so stubborn,” Rose said, but it was said with a sense of love and understanding because she knew her sister better than anyone.

“I am,” Violet agreed with a smile that she did not feel. “But stubborn or no, this is the right thing. I truly believe that…”

At least I need to believe it.

No matter how much it hurts, how much I want to change my mind, this must be done. Always for someone else… protecting those I love because they need me to.

Violet had lied to her sister when she said that she was not angry. And she had lied again when she said that she was not upset. But she had not lied when she said that this was the right thing to do.

It was Rhys’ words that she overheard earlier that evening which forced her into this decision.

To think that she had been so excited to see him. To imagine that she had dared to believe that in so doing, he would admit his faults, apologize for his actions, and this past week would be little more than a memory that both might soon forget. That was a fantasy, as unreal as it was unimaginable, and it had everything to do with the man who she called her husband.

The simple fact was that Rhys would never change. Worse still, he did not want to. He had this twisted belief about himself that those he loved were better off without him, and this sardonic view of who he was as a person was so inborn and a part of him that to try and change him… to waste time waiting for it, was as futile as it was hopeless.

So it was that Violet came to a decision.

Rhys had said that he would either push Violet away or, assuming she refused to be pushed, send her away himself. He would remove her from his life entirely, discarding her as if she was an old pair of boots worn through to the sole.

It hurt beyond words that he might do such a thing, but as said, that’s just who he was. Now that Violet accepted it, she knew what she had to do.