Page 28 of The Long Road Back to Yesterday

“Yes, Lizzy, but what if one of us lets the truth slip at some future time? Or what if that villain returns to Meryton and boasts of what he did?”

Elizabeth's brow furrowed. “That is highly unlikely. Surely, he knows he would be hanged for murdering Papa. I cannot imagine he would ever show his face in this county again. He would be risking his own life.”

Jane was silent for a long moment before she spoke again.

“How can I keep such a thing from the man I love? You know it could affect his unmarried sister's prospects as well. It could cast a shadow over his children. Oh, Lizzy, what am I to do?”

Jane collapsed onto the bed and covered her face in her hands, weeping.

After a time, she said through her sobs, “I have fallen in love with Mr. Bingley, and he loves me. I ought not to have allowed it, knowing what has befallen our family, knowing we lie under the curse of our ruin.”

“Jane, stop this. Both Uncle Phillips and Uncle Edward believe the worst lies behind us, buried with Mamma and Papa, and with the loss of our sister. If the four of us keep this secret, no harm will come to any of our future families.”

“No, Lizzy, you do not understand because you have not loved a man. I love Mr. Bingley, and I cannot imagine keeping such a secret from him.” She lifted her head and met Elizabeth's gaze. “And think how he would feel should the truth ever come to light. He would never trust me again.”

Elizabeth sat beside Jane and took her hand in her own.

“Are you going to tell him our secret then?”

Jane covered her face again. “I do not know. I do not know. The thought of his being somewhere in this world thinking ill of me exceeds anything I can bear. How can I tell him such a thing? He will leave me, and then how shall I endure the rest of my life?”

“Perhaps he will stay by your side, Jane. I believe he truly loves you.”

Breaking down into a fresh wave of tears, she answered. “But how can I bring such a disgrace upon him and his sister? Any children we might have? I cannot do it, Lizzy. I cannot do such a thing to him.”

“Dear sister, you must allow him the choice to stay by your side or to leave. You cannot simply walk away from him without telling him why you abandon him.”

Jane raised her head. Despair filled her eyes.

In that moment, Elizabeth hated Lydia. She hated her for what she had done to her most beloved sister. Through her thoughtless actions she had broken Jane's heart.

Then shame followed. Lydia had been but a child, ignorant of the consequences of her conduct. The fault did not rest with Lydia alone. They had all shared in the child's ruin.

Tears ran down Elizabeth's cheeks as she slipped an arm around Jane's shoulders and rested her head against her sister's fair hair.

After a time, Jane drew a breath and lifted her head. “I will tell him, Lizzy. I will tell him about Lydia, and then I will leave as planned for Uncle Edward's. But I shall never marry. I cannot give my heart to another.”

“What will you do?”

“I shall hire myself out as a governess and count myself fortunate if anyone will employ me. You know, Lizzy, the loss of our respectability would hinder our chances of obtaining such a position should Lydia's ruin ever become known.”

“I beg two things of you, Jane, dear. Do not decide your future until you have spoken with Mr. Bingley. Perhaps, against all expectation, he will stand by you, and you will find it in your heart to give your union a chance.”

Elizabeth drew back from her sister to look into her eyes.

“And secondly, wait until we hear from Mr. Collins. Then we shall have to remove to London. Wait until then. Enjoy what little time you have left with Mr. Bingley, and allow him the comfort of your company while he may. Please promise me at least this much. Tell him, but keep an open mind. Do not resolve the matter before you have heard what he has to say.”

Chapter 14: Cast Adrift

August had arrived gentle and fair and now drew toward its close, and with no word from Mr. Collins, the sisters began to fret. Had some misfortune befallen their father's heir? If so, to whom would the estate pass?

The answer came a few days later when Mr. Phillips arrived at Longbourn with a letter in his hand.

Elizabeth and her sisters joined him in the drawing room. Their uncle took his seat and unfolded the letter.

“I have received an answer to the letter I sent Mr. Collins. It was written by his widow. Mr. Collins died in March after a brief illness.”

“In March?” Kitty said. “But you wrote to him in May.”