Page 54 of Falling For Alaska

“That you were…fine. Well, um, that you had made progress.”

“Really?” I frown. “Why?”

“Because, uh, you did,” she states with a half smile, sleeking her dress with her palms. “These past few weeks, you’ve been calling us more often, coming back home, doing things you used to do.” Her tone falters. “When you hugged me…” Her palm rests on her chest. “I knew you were coming back to yourself.” She clears her throat. “Well, well… what do we have here?” Her voice is thick with tears she tries to hide. “These covers are really pretty, honey. You always choose so well. No wonder your business is thriving.”

I reach out and hug her from behind, just because I feel like it, and whisper, “Thanks, Mom,” before letting go.

“I’m always here, honey. You know that?” She turns and cups my face. “God, I remember when you were little, your round face and those squishy cheeks. People would always stare at your perfect little face,” she says, her voice tinged with melancholia.

“Mom,” I roll my eyes, stepping back before offering, “can I make you a cup of tea?”

“No, no, no. I’m already late for work. I’ll see you soon, honey,” she says, hurrying again with her bags in hand. “Come this weekend. Your dad is grilling ribs, and bring your friend along if you want.”

“Yes, okay, maybe.” I wave at her as she opens the door. “Bye, Mom.” I watch her go and sigh.

Outside, locals go in and out of stores. A man steps out of the flower shop with a bright bouquet of roses. His stride is confident, purposeful, as though he knows exactly who he’s giving them to. Likely the woman he loves. Two elderly people holding hands pass by him, and I notice him glance over his shoulder at them. Does he wonder what miracle allowed those two beings to still walk through life side by side after all this time? What I’d give to hold hands in my old age with the love of my life. Dying wouldn’t be so scary then. The man disappears into another shop, and I step back, mindlessly caressing the spine of a book. My fingers meet the soft yet solid surface, just like Jack’s arms. Sleeping next to him was the closest I’ve ever come to getting what I’ve always dreamed of. I can almost touch it.

Only I’m behind the window, watching the dream unfold before me, my palm resting flat against the transparent glass. I’m falling in love with Jack. But could Jack ever fall in love with the real me? My knuckles tingle, and I want to snap them open just to feel something other than this uncertainty. There’s no such thing as a clean slate, but if only I could get one. A reset button to make it all go away, once and for all. For Jack to love me and stay, even knowing what I’ve done. I need to believe that it’s possible. To convince myself that, yes, Jack’s right.

Dreams do come true.

Chapter Nineteen

JACK

It’s been a few days since I slept at Alaska’s. Each night, I replay it all to my ceiling. Did it really happen? Now my bed isn’t as welcoming anymore. The sheets are empty from her form, the other pillow mocking me. It’s hard to describe how something can feel so right all of a sudden. It’s like I’ve been underwater for decades, searching for her. Waiting, when she was there all along. Waiting for me too. To be honest, I could listen to her for hours without ever getting bored, and even so, share silence with her too, without it being awkward.

We haven’t talked about me staying in Lakeside again, but I’m planning on figuring this out today with Captain Fletcher and seeing if there’s a spot for me as Jared’s teammate. I won’t miss Minneapolis, for sure. The noise, drug cases, nonstop honking, and the loneliness I felt there. Nah, I’ll find a way to see my family or make them come here as often as possible. I still need to figure out if Captain Raines will accept me staying here, though.

Jared enters our office. It’s late in the afternoon, he should be going in half an hour. He never stays too late, unless we have an emergency. Likes to play soccer with the local team. “You should come,” he said multiple times. Maybe I will. Yeah, why not?

“Alright,” he sighs, “we did good today, not saying we’re gonna get a medal for it,” he punches the air twice, “but we’re finally gonna be able to confirm to the family what happened,” he grins, motioning a fake baseball throw, talking about case number five we closed today. I’m seated in front of him, sorting out paperwork.

“Hope they’ll find peace once they know.” I can’t imagine something worse than losing someone you love and never knowing what happened to them. It’d be like waiting for a train that’ll never arrive, clutching your luggage so hard your knuckles turn white from desperation.

“Kind of the whole purpose of it,” he says, bobbing his head and chewing his gum. “Fletcher is going to be real happy about us.” He winks. “We’re one hell of a team, you know?”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah.” Then I clear my throat, rubbing my neck with one hand. “How’d, um, how’d you feel if-if, let’s s-s-say, I would, you know, st-stick around a bit?” Jared lifts his face from the screen and stares at me with what I gather is the epitome of the insolence his parents must have put up with for years.

“No way. City boy wants to stay in the countryside?”

“What did I t-tell you about this nickname?”

“Alright, alright. What do you mean? You wanna stay? Don’t you have a huge promotion waiting for you there?”

“Yeah,” I rasp, “kind of, b-but⁠—”

“But there’s Alaska,” he finishes for me with a smug smile. I keep my mouth shut because why would I even try to hide the obvious?

“Hope you do, partner,” he says, his voice softer, and it reminds me of the time Annie asked me to stay with her before going to her first summer camp. “Hope you’ll stay. You know, I still have to annoy you a bit more; someone’s gotta do it.”

“Let’s see what the C-Captain will say.” He nods back, because that’s both out of our hands. Still, I wanted to know if he wanted that too and I’m glad he does.

“How ’bout we go get some beers and celebrate? We deserve it.” He exhales a pink bubble, making it snap.

“Nah, don’t think we d-deserve a break. There’s still lots to do.” A strong, older voice bounces off the wall.

“Come on, Parkson, live a little,” Captain Fletcher says from the doorframe, hands on his waist. “I just read your report. This family is finally going to get the answers they’ve been looking for, thanks to both of you. So go on, get out and celebrate.” Jared doesn’t wait. Shuts down his computer and grabs his jacket.