Page 73 of The Silent Princess

“Sure.” He flexes his jaw as I watch him stand and disappear into a room near the back of the bedroom. He comes back with a large white T-shirt.

“This okay?” I nod, grateful to be able to slide out of my working clothes.

Giving me the shirt, he clears his throat.

“I’ll…I’ll wait by the door.”

Don’t go. I want to say it, but my courage stops there, shyly tucked in the corner of the room, warning me to walk before running.

“It’s not necessary. Just…look away.” A groan rumbles from his chest, and he bites his fist for a second. Crossing his arms, his muscles pushing the fabric to the max, he looks up at the ceiling, his feet tapping the floor, tension thickening in the room and making it ten times smaller. Slower than I should, I undress, slipping inside his tee, smelling like fresh and masculine cologne. I fold my blouse and pair of pants at the end of the bed, hiding my legs under the covers. Snapping my fingers to call him, his chin remains directed at the ceiling.

“I’m going to look down now,” he warns, like he’s about to walk into a minefield. His eyes settle on me, dangerous and dark, before he runs a hand over his face, shaking away whatever held him hostage. Rounding the bed, he pushes the covers on his side, lying next to me, his arm up over my head, inviting me to find safety in his arms. And I do, sliding until my face rests on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It must be the middle of the night, and there is so much we will have to deal with tomorrow, but for once, I allow myself the rest I have been stolen from for years. Dad is safe. Someone will come to check on him tomorrow. And Tristan will fix everything first thing in the morning. A better future is coming. I can almost touch it at the end of my fingers.

“Goodnight sweetheart,” Tristan murmurs, his voice rumbling under my ear above his lungs. My hand hesitantly rises until finding his lips, and my index brushes them. A goodnight kiss in our very own language. Goodnight, Tristan, I think. Wishing right now more than ever that I could speak, just so he could hear me say;

I love you.

Chapter Seventeen

Tristan

Sleep never came that night, and as I held my woman in my arms, I wondered if it would ever come back again. By the time four-thirty rolled around, I reluctantly lowered her onto the mattress and left the warmth of her body for my office. Still wearing yesterday’s shirt and now-rumpled black pants, I paced in front of my computer. Ella needs me, but I need to go out and find Cole. A call with Matt and Nate- realizing they were also both awake, made us quickly set a meeting in thirty minutes at the office. Finding Cole cannot wait for sunrise. I need it now, or I will lose my mind while Ella is walking with a target on her back.

My Ella. My sweet, innocent, kind, smart, stubborn Ella, who does not deserve a drop of this violence. My men were already watching my gates, and I had, as she had consented to it, inserted a surveillance app tracker in her phone. She would be safe here, where no one could get to her.

Checking on her before leaving, I leave a note on the empty pillow next to her spread of long black hair, inviting me to run my fingers through it. Those silky strands I want to see every morning of my existence.

I’m taking care of everything.

Do not leave the house.

I’ll see you in a few hours sweetheart.

T.

I wanted to write more. Tell her that I’m not just falling for her. I have fallen. Hard, irreversibly fallen. Love had never been on my radar, and yet, watching her get undone here, in my home, after giving me her trust, her acceptance of my twisted ways, even after being the target of a threat because of me, she’s still there, searching for my closeness, unyielding to the invisible pull between us.

I love you, Ella, I should have written. But would she reciprocate? Or would I be living in a cage of my own making? Could Ella love me in the same mad depth, in the same obsessive, consuming, under-the-skin kind of affection? Or was her presence here proof that yes, she was exactly in the same cage as I was? Both of us holding on to the lock, making sure we would stay there, forever.

“I…” My hand brushes her temple, and she squirms like a cat in the sun, her eyelids opening to meet mine for a brief instant. Those dark eyes. Hypnotic. Seeing right through my armor and my false composure. I love you. The words stay stuck in my throat, their sound unfamiliar, frightening with honesty. Can she feel it, though?

Can she sense its unconditionality through my actions? Today, when I come back after taking care of Cole, I will tell her. That I fought for us. That there is nothing in the world that could keep us apart. That all along, all those years, I had been waiting for her, and that our long agony is now over. Almost. Shutting my eyes, I turn, storming out to escape her aura calling me back to her side. With one last security check of all the openings in the house, I turn on the camera and set it to live on my phone, making sure I can see her sleeping even while I drive. There. She will not be able to go anywhere without me knowing. She is safe. Right? Safe. I need to relax. I need to breathe.

Twenty minutes flow by as I arrive at my office, all the door codes changed, three of my new security staff already there, guarding the elevator and the main door along with the other exits. Matt works in mysterious ways, and I am not even going to ask where he found those guys in such a short time. Empty, the building is like a ghost town, deserted of life; the usual concierge, Ronny, was sent home since I am not having anyone take any risk after the threat we received. The elevator sends me up to the thirty-second floor, and I rush out of it, directly into my office. The place I used to find refuge in, where my mind was clearer, able to wage war against enemies and business opponents with a clear mind, is now a knot of thoughts. I could have gone straight to Cole, but I needed one thing before. Sliding my photograph aside and opening my vault, I type the code I recently changed to Ella and I first meeting in this very same place. The date, along with her birthday, the whole thing typed backward, because sentimentality has to stop somewhere. A knock makes me tense. The Glock in front of me, waiting patiently in the safe, tells me to grip it.

And I do, because nowhere is safe now. The door swings open, and a half-amused Nate with his hands in the air stares back at me.

“Easy, I have a kid, you know.” Without a word, I put the Glock down, tucking it into the back holster I have just set in place. Matt follows behind Nate, his face stern and waiting for orders, locked in.

“Cole Vodianov sent us a death threat,” I recall, as I grab the craft envelope I came to get. “I’m going to go to him tonight and give him this.”

“What’s that?”

“The one thing he has always wanted to hide.”

“If you tell me you knew something and didn’t do shit about it…”

“I am just a citizen, Nate,” I huff. “Not a cop. Not the justice system.”