Page 119 of Under the Influence

“But it wasn’t,” I finish her sentence, and she shakes her head.

“No, it wasn’t, and by the time I made it to Aspen’s house, it was too late.”

I pull her in, wrapping my arms around her, “It’s not your fault.”

She pushes me away, “How could you say that? Of course, it’s my fault.”

“Why would her boyfriend post the video of you guys to his account?”

“He didn’t. We don’t know who did.”

“So why hasn’t he told the truth? It must be just as hard for him as it is for you, having the whole world think that his girlfriend is dead because he slept with you.”

I realize how morbid and insensitive it sounds when it leaves my lips, but she doesn’t seem to take offense.

“Because I was underage and Kane wasn’t, he hasn’t said anything because he’s protecting his brother. If my dad found out, he’d throw him in jail.”

I gape at her, clearly surprised.

She chuckles nervously, “Yeah, so my best friend is gone because I lied. If I had just told her I was messing around with him again, she would’ve known when she saw the video. But I had been lying to her for weeks, and she didn’t trust me anymore. She thought Zander and I betrayed her.”

“But you didn’t.”

She blows out a deep breath, “Yeah… It fucks you up, though.”

“What?” I ask. “Suicide?”

“Yeah,” she pulls her legs up, tucking them underneath her. “It’s like it leaves this dark, horrible thing deep inside your mind. It makes you constantly wonder what you could’ve done. If you could’ve stopped it, and I could have Carson. I could’ve stopped her.”

We don’t talk after that. I mean, what the hell do I even say?

“I better get inside. It’s getting dark, and Jovie swears there are alligators,” she warns.

I laugh, “Only because Nash swears he saw one forever ago. He’s full of shit.”

She laughs, standing to dust her butt off, “Either way. I don’t want to take any chances.”

I glance back at her house, the lights out, signaling it’s probably empty.

“My mom made dinner. How about you come and eat with us?”

She waves me away, “No, you go ahead. I don’t want to crash your family dinner, and Uncle Trey will probably bring food home.”

I grab her hand, “It’s not crashing if you’re invited. Come on, we’re friends, remember? I’ll even let you pick a movie after.”

She hesitates but finally agrees, following me up the slanted yard into the back door.

“Mom! Dad!” I yell, walking into the kitchen as Mom pulls a pan of Lasagna from the oven. I can’t help but laugh as she blows some of the blonde pieces of hair out of her face.

“Cori is going to have dinner with us, is that okay?”

“Of course,” she smiles. “It’s nice to see you again, sweetie.”

Mom and Cori talk about everything in Chicago. My mom has a store there, and she loves the city. So Dad and I sit and eat while they gush over restaurants I’ve never even heard of.

We went not long ago for a baseball game but spent most of our time in the stadium, not frolicking around like tourists. Although, it would be fun to do that with Cori.

We discard our plates in the sink and walk up to my room. I can feel my mom’s stare following us up the stairs like a shadow. “Carson, 10 o’clock, son!”