Page 53 of A Little Bit Uncertain

“How’d it go?” I asked when I saw them.

“Well, he’s an idiot, that’s for sure,” replied Murphy.

“But,” Bennett interjected, “I think we got through to him. I hope. We’ll see.”

“Fingers crossed.” Murphy finished the thought. “What’s up with the car, Audra?”

“I have no idea. I took it in recently, and everything was fine. Last night it just didn’t start. At all.”

“Can I get the keys?” Murphy asked, and I tossed them to him.

Before he popped the hood, he tried to start it, but when it still didn’t start, he went under the hood. Less than ten seconds passed before his head was back out, looking serious. “Does anyone else have keys to your car?”

“No.” What a weird question, I thought.

“Someone disconnected the battery cables, Audra. There’s no way both of them would have fallen off simultaneously. I’m wondering if anyone could have gotten in your car to pop the hood. It’s possible to do it without a key, but it’s a fuck ton more work and would most likely draw some attention. But this seems intentional.”

The blood drained from my face, and my heart rate picked up. Looking at Donovan, there had to be fear in my eyes. He tried to counter with a look of strength, but I saw the concern. Instantly, I felt nauseous, and like my legs were going to give out on me. This was fucked up. Someone popped my trunk open and disconnected my wires, and we know damn well who it was. At what point yesterday did he do this? My head felt dizzy, and I couldn’t catch my breath.

I registered Donovan racing towards me in my periphery while I heard Murphy say, “Audra, I know you’re the nurse, but you don’t look so good,” before I went down. I’d never fainted before. Things didn’t make me squeamish, and up until that point, I thought myself pretty infallible, given my career. Nope. I went down like an anchor. When my body was flat, it reset, and I was only out for a quick count. Opening my eyes, first, I saw Donovan, who had gone from a look of concern to sheer terror. Then the girls ran up on us while the twins looked completely freaked out. Jesus, now it was a scene.

“Audra, fucking Christ, you scared the hell out of me,” Donovan pulled me into his chest.

I managed to piece together that he literally caught me on my way down and then laid me down flat. “Hey Batman, you caught me before I fell,” I whispered with affection, then rested my head on his chest, smiled, and took deep breaths, trying to gather myself.

I saw Murphy and Bennet exchange looks over how this was playing out in front of them, as well as the girls looking at each other. “Uh, should we, like, call an ambulance or something, or take you to urgent care?” Murphy asked.

“No,” I declined. “I just fainted. I don’t feel great at the moment, but I’ll be ok.” Despite my weakness and nausea, I was thankful Donovan was holding me.

“Who did this to your car, Audra?” Bennett asked.

There was no levity in his voice. Even as his best friend, I rarely saw that side of him. He was in protector mode, and based on the night I went to his house instead of home after work, he knew exactly who did it.

Pulling my head off Donovan’s chest, I looked back and forth at all of them around me, and then I looked down. “I can’t say for sure, but lately, Theo has been causing some trouble,” I admitted to the entire group.

“Trouble?” Murphy pushed, looking confused. “What kind of trouble? No one has mentioned anything.”

“Yeah, he’s been acting a little strange since the night of the dart league. Before then, too, but after darts, things have intensified,” I explained.

“A little strange?” Donovan cut in with an agitated voice. “Let’s call a spade a spade here, Audra. He’s been acting unhinged. You have to stop downplaying this. The more people you tell about it, the more people will help keep an eye out for you. He’s followed you, been waiting for you on your porch, popped up at your house when I was there, and made several shitty and disrespectful comments to you. Not to mention disconnecting cables on your car and whatever else that has happened that you haven’t said, because I’m sure there’s more. That’s not a little strange. That’s really freaking concerning.”He looked back at everyone standing around before adding, “The plan was to come here to check the car before officially filing a harassment report at the police station.”

“Good God. I knew there was more to it than that night you came to our place after work instead of home. Why didn’t you say it then, Audra?” Bennett asked.

It was all too overwhelming, and I was embarrassed that it was even happening at all. Now, everyone knew, I lamented. Part of me wondered if Theo had already started to slip into that headspace after the last time I slept with him, and then the introduction of Donovan threw everything into chaos. I was frustrated because it was my business, and at no point had Donovan said those things to me point-blank. But mostly, I was disheartened with it when he said all those things, because I knew he was right.

“Fucking Theo,” the twins uttered in unison. And then, because they were brothers, they played the jinx game until it quieted down.

“But seriously, Audra, this is stuff we need to know,” Bennett stressed.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m feeling embarrassed about it, but I am. And it’s hard to say out loud.” That opened the door to talk about what had been happening and devise a basic safety plan for me. Which pretty much boiled down to sharing my location and having a buddy when I could. It felt equal parts ridiculous and necessary. Before Donovan and I left, I hugged all of my friends. I didn’t realize I’d feel relief instead of shame, and I underestimated how crucial it was to have my friends in my corner. I felt foolish that I didn’t loop them in earlier.

By the time we wrapped up at the police station, I was wrung out. I hated that the police officer who took my statement knew Theo, because everyone knew everyone here. And more so, I hated that Theo had pushed me to this point. I hated that Donovan was here, because whether or not we were anything, I was monopolizing his time with my drama. I hated that my friends knew. The whole thing was so hard. Worst of all, it was pretty much just documentation. It’s not like they could do anything if Theo walked up my sidewalk or popped up in town near me. Was this how all women felt in this position?

We shook hands with the police officer, and then Donovan put his arm around my shoulders as we walked out. I didn’t even object, because the comfort his physical presence gave me was astounding. The sun was still high in the sky, and part of me wanted to just extend my day with him and do something semi-normal. Maybe we could do something like go eat without some crisis happening, but I had to get back to the girls. Plus, I was sure he wanted a break. I felt bad about monopolizing all his free time. We stopped in front of my car in the parking lot, and he spun me to pull me into his front so he could give me a hug. The kind where he wrapped me up and put his head on top of mine. It was quickly becoming my favorite spot. He swayed with me in his arms ever so slightly and spoke.

“Hey, I’m proud of you today. I know that wasn’t easy, but it needed to be done. I also need to apologize for earlier when I spilled everything to everyone standing around. It wasn’t my information to share. I was scared you had fainted and frustrated that you kept trying to sweep it away. But that is no excuse.” He pulled away and held me by both shoulders. “I hope you know you can trust me and I won’t betray that trust ever again.”

Nodding my head, I took in his words. “I believe you, Donovan. And truth be told, I think I needed the kick in the ass. It is safer if they know. This morning, when we were stocking, I told the girls a little about it, but I know I downplayed it, and I can’t keep doing that. You definitely gained points in Jules’ book tonight.” I tried to make light of it.

“I wasn’t aware I was trying to win points, Audra. If that’s the case, prepare yourself,” he joked. “I have to be honest, I’m in a bit of a bind though. I want to push you a little here, but I don’t want you to think I’m pushing you like Theo.”

“I could never think of you like that, Donovan.” Honestly, part of me wanted him to push a little. Hell, there was a part of me that just wanted to jump right into him. He called me Chaos, but that’s what he was doing to my insides. I loved every interaction we had, every laugh, every hug, every lingering eye.

But I had to protect myself … right? With every interaction, I felt less and less conviction in that statement.

“In that case, why don’t I give you my number? That way, you have it, and when you’re ready for me to have yours, you can just call me.”

“Ooh, now that’s smooth, Wright.” A smile spread across my face, and it felt like the first genuine one I’d had since I fainted. I stared at him a couple of seconds longer and bit my lip, running through scenarios in my mind. My agreeing to that was letting another wall come down, and part of me was saying no, but the other part, the louder part, was screaming Yes! God, Yes!

I mean, he had no obligation to me, and yet around every corner he was there with comforting words and an unflappable physical presence that made me feel safe. I had no idea why he would want to get involved with me after the last couple of things that had happened, but his intentions weren’t veiled.

Donovan repeated his number to me, and I punched it into my phone. I called him immediately, and because he didn’t expect it, he looked at the phone with agitation when it rang. But the thought that it might be me calling hit him, and when he glanced at me, I couldn’t play it off. I must have looked like the cat who got the canary.

“Is this you? You really just called me.” He said it with surprise. It was such a simple moment, but the way he said it was so wholesome and endearing that I leaned my body into his again as my heart exploded. “I have to put your picture in my contacts,” he said, but he didn’t just point the camera at me. He held his phone out in front of him to take a selfie of the two of us. It was our first photo, and I couldn’t help but think how fitting it was. His huge frame took up so much of the phone screen, and I was tucked into him, like he was protecting me—like he had been doing the whole time—and we were both beaming. After he snapped it, he kissed my cheek.

“Thank you for trusting me, Audra.”

“Thank you for being you, Donovan.”