Page 61 of Her Reluctant Highlander Husband

He let out a breath and frowned at the stick Rascal had returned to him.

“Eventually your aunt wrote to tell me she had died.”

“She didn’t die,” Dorie said, taking a breath. She could only hope her father wouldn’t hate her for what she needed to tell him next, but she had to confess. “She was killed, and it was all my fault.”

She spilled the entire story and waited for her father’s anger. If it hadn’t been for Dorie, her mother might have, one day, been able to leave and join him.

Dorie knew the reason her mother had never left in all the years Dorien had begged her to run away with him. The laird would have hunted her down if she’d taken Dorie. At least as long as he believed her to be his child. Dorie’s mother never would have left her. Not even to spend her life with her true love.

The familiar guilt washed over Dorie, nearly drowning her.

“I’m so sorry. I’m the reason you weren’t able to be together.”

“Shhh. It’s not your fault. Sometimes things don’t work out the way one thinks they should. I got married to a wonderful woman. We have four children that have brought joy to my life.”

“But it’s not the same as having someone you love, as you did my mother.”

He frowned and shook his head. “I will not lie to you. I still think of your mother every day. I miss her as I would miss a limb or a part of my heart. Having you in my life eases some of that pain. It’s like having a part of her. A part of us.”

“But your wife? Isn’t she upset that you have a child with another woman?” Dorie couldn’t bring herself to say the word bastard, though that was what she was.

His smile seemed strained. “It wasn’t a love match, at least not for me. We respect one another and I care for her deeply. She actually encouraged me to come here when I told her of you.”

“She loves you?” Dorie guessed.

“I think so, yes.” He frowned, and Dorie assumed he felt guilty that he wasn’t able to love her back.

She felt a wave of sympathy for the woman. Dorie had been trying so hard not to expect anything from Bryce. She’d done her best to protect her heart, knowing he couldn’t offer her anything in return but a warm bed. But she loved him. And it hurt to know he didn’t love her back.

“I understand,” she said. “Not what you’re feeling, but what your wife is. I’m in love with a man who canna love me the way you loved my mother. He gave his heart to his first wife and their child. When they died, they took his heart with them. There’s nothing left for me.”

“I hate that I cannot feel for Harriet the way I felt for your mother. It’s just the way of things, I guess. I don’t want that for you. I don’t want you to have to settle for the fragments of someone’s broken heart.”

“At times I think perhaps it’s not important, that maybe I could love him enough for both of us. But I do wonder what it would be like to have more.” She shook her head. “He treats me well enough. Being here at Dunardry is better than I ever expected. Much better than my life with the McCurdys.”

“Well enough is not what I want for my daughter,” he said, his brows pulling together as he threw the stick for her dog. “I wish you to be happy.”

She understood his displeasure but didn’t think there was anything to be done. She was married to Bryce. It didn’t matter if her father liked it or not, it was legal and consummated.

“Tell me about my sisters and brothers,” she said to change the topic.

A proud smile pulled up on his face and he told her about all of them. The oldest, Philip, was nine. Nadia was seven. The twins, Geneva and George, only five.

“Geneva looks like you. Like me.” He smiled. His eyes went wide. “Perhaps you could return to England to meet them. We’re staying at my estate right now.”

“I couldn’t. They would hate me.”

He chuckled. “They wouldn’t hate you. They’d be surprised, yes, but they would give you a chance. I’m sure you would become great friends with all of them.”

“But I would disgrace you. I’m illegitimate. And Scottish.” She added the last part when he didn’t seem deterred by the first.

Again he chuckled. “I’m not sure there’s a member of the peerage who doesn’t have illegitimate issue. As far as being Scottish, it’s not a crime.”

It might not be, but Marian had told her stories of how the English treated Scots. Mari even sounded English, and they’d still teased her about her accent.

“I’m married,” she reminded him. “I belong here.”

He nodded and let it drop. They returned to the keep for supper and the laird kept her father’s attention for most of the meal.