Page 16 of The Highland Heir

“Because I knew it would make you mad, andthen we wouldn’t have to speak about things I really don’twant to talk about with you.”

She twisted her lips to the side andsighed.

“Then I apologize as well. Ye said you didn’twant to speak on it. I should have stopped. And I shouldn’t havepushed you on your arse.” She couldn’t help but smile at the memoryof him going over though. It was like a horse being pushed over bya mouse.

“It would be easier to believe you were sorryfor it if ye didn’t look so amused.”

Pressing her lips together, she did her bestto look contrite and probably failed.

He nodded anyway, easily accepting herapology.

“I should get back,” she said, wanting sometime alone to think about her plan.

“Ellie?” he said, stopping her.

“Aye?”

“It shouldn’t be different for ye. But pleasebe careful. If you decide to do this . . .” He frownedand looked up at the sky as if hoping for a bird to drop the wordsdown to him. “Make sure the man is worthy of such a beautifulgift.”

For a moment, as he looked at her, shecouldn’t breathe. Or swallow. Or speak. She only managed to bob herhead a few times before she turned to retreat.

She didn’t quite understand her reactionexcept to say he had never used the word beautiful inregards to her before. It was silly, and even now it wasn’t as ifhe’d said she was beautiful. But it had knocked the air from herlungs and all thought from her head.

She went back to the kitchens to help withthe late meal, but her head wasn’t in it.

She heard the other women chatting andgossiping, but she didn’t really listen. When they laughed, shelooked up from where she’d been kneading a mound of dough.

“You’ve nearly worked that dough back tobeing flour,” Joan said. “Is something bothering ye?”

“Nay,” Ella lied. In truth, everything in herlife was a mess, now including the flat bread they would have forsupper. Her best friend was going to leave her behind. Even if hisnew wife liked Ella and wasn’t threatened by their friendship,things would change.

What was worse was that she now wanted herown change but had no idea how to go about making it happen.

Everything was out of control and only gotworse when she went to the hall to help serve the meal.

She watched the maids that flirted withKieran, wondering which one of them had lain with him. No doubt herdistraction was the reason she spilled a flagon of ale and thencarried out a bowl with nothing in it.

Her thoughts were in a muddle after talkingwith Kieran about joining.

But seeing the kind disinterest he offeredevery woman in the hall made her more certain than ever that he’dnever been with a woman, maiden or otherwise.

It was the reason she relented on her plan toask him to help her find a man who might show her what she mightotherwise never know. Someone with whom she could share herbeautiful gift, as he’d called it.

But if Kieran was being his protective selfover a nameless, faceless man, she feared what might happen if shedecided on exactly who she might give her virtue to.

And that problem felt as if it were a bucketof eels, twisting back on each thought, because in the end she onlywanted to give her virtue to one person. But he was to marry in afew months and only thought of Ella as a friend.

Still, since she’d thought of him in thatplace next to her, touching her, she could think of no other. Andshe wanted it. More and more each day. Worse, the wanting wasturning into unrest that made her snappish with anyone who spoke toher.

“What did Alasdair say to make you slam histrencher down so hard?” Kieran asked after the morning meal wasover a few days later. “If he said something rude, you’ll tell meso I can deal with him appropriately.”

“And what will you do to any man who flirtsor makes lewd comments? Will you thrash them all? What about whenyou are married? Will you still see it as your duty to protect mewhen you have a wife to protect?”

“Alasdair made lewd comments? What exactlydid he say?” Kieran asked, completely missing her point.

“Nay. He said nothing. I’m just not in a goodmood today.”

“Oh,” he said before glancing down her bodyand taking a step back.