Page 10 of His Secret Highland Bride

She looked up at the blue sky and shook her head. “I thought you would’ve said something about fighting in the war. Angry soldiers bearing down on you.”

He shrugged. “I’m haunted by many things that happened over the last five years, but when I’m struggling with something, when I feel I have no control over a situation I’m facing, I always dream of that night with the fire.”

Before she’d realized what she was doing, she’d reached out and placed her hand on his arm in an effort to soothe the sadness she saw in his warm, green eyes. She wondered what situations he faced that made him feel out of control. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be as serious as the uncertainty she faced.

The uncertainty of being married to someone she didn’t know.

…

Shane felt he’d missed a great opportunity as he and Lindsay walked in silence to the large rock she called her own. During their discussion of fears, he should have told her who he was, for no other reason than he could have confided in her about his concerns of taking over the clan. His worries over how he might make MacPherson an honorable name again. His concerns about taking a wife when he was nothing but an empty shell of a man. Perhaps she would have offered her thoughts and comforting words of encouragement. But he’d let the moment pass because of an even greater fear—that she would pull away from him.

She made it no secret she didn’t care for his clan or the way the laird had taken care of his people. To admit to being the new laird would change her view of him for the worse, and he couldn’t bear seeing her disgust. He was enjoying their newfound friendship far too much. It was a balm to his wounded soul.

Worse than disgust would be the pity he imagined to see when he explained how he’d lost his wife, followed surely by more distaste when she learned he was at fault. Instead, he kept his secrets and changed the subject to favorite animals. This time when they came to her rock, he took a seat next to her, enjoying the warmth of the stone where the sun had touched it. To his surprise, Tre jumped up beside Lindsay, and with her friend at her back, she allowed Shane to scratch her behind the ears.

“I feel betrayed. I shared my meals with ye, and yet you give your allegiance to a stranger over me.”

“Ah, but you have won her trust. I will be nothing but a memory now that she has your attentions.”

“You sound jealous,” he said, finding it easy to flirt with a pretty lass even though he hadn’t used the skill recently. He’d always enjoyed women, but when he’d married Maria, he never had a worry he’d miss spending time in the beds of strangers ever again. It was the easiest thing to be loyal to her. He’d needed no other.

Now he was alone, his marriage vows severed with her death, yet the loyalty remained.

He was treated to a soft blush on Lindsay’s cheeks as she glanced away.

“Perhaps,” she admitted, and he felt he had made large strides with both of these females today.

He offered the smile that had won him the attentions of women in the past. And while she didn’t swoon or go aflutter at the sight of it, he saw a response in her dark eyes as she caught her bottom lip between her teeth.

Realizing he had leaned closer to her, he bolted off the rock, making Tre yip in surprise.

What was he doing? He couldn’t woo this woman to his bed or even so much as kiss her. He had nothing to offer her. He couldn’t marry her. But she’d stirred something inside him. A tiny spark of life ignited in the pit of his stomach and began to thaw the ice in his chest.

He hadn’t wanted this. Couldn’t do this. Which was why he turned and walked away to a safe distance, before he did something he couldn’t take back. Something he realized now he very much wanted to do.

…

At first, Lindsay was upset by the way Shane had practically run away from her. But as she lay in her makeshift bed—a pile of shabby blankets on the floor in the corner of her uncle’s cottage—she realized Shane had saved them both from making a big mistake.

She’d wanted to kiss him. And while she’d not been kissed before, she felt certain he was of the same mind when he’d moved just slightly closer with his gaze upon her lips. If that wasn’t the way a kiss started, she didn’t know how else it might happen. Her heart had nearly beat out of her chest as she’d waited for him to make what seemed to be an eternal voyage to her mouth. But he had put a stop to things before they’d proceeded too far, and she was both grateful for and annoyed by that fact.

Since she was a young girl, she’d envisioned marrying someone she loved. Her parents loved one another. She’d seen the way her father’s gruff demeaner softened when her mother came near. Lindsay had hoped to do the same for her husband—a faceless warrior, until recently. But Shane had backed away from her, not unlike the little dog. But unlike Tre, he’d not been brave enough to trust her since.

Now, three nights later, as the night wore on and sleep evaded her, she felt frustrated by his rejection. She found she still wanted him to kiss her. Perhaps more each day. She was past the age to wed, which meant she was old enough for such experiences. And for her remaining time here with the MacPherson clan, she was free to do things she wouldn’t do at Riccarton, where she’d been only the laird’s daughter. But there in the darkness, she was forced to face the truth that maybe he had saved her from a great amount of pain by staying away for the last few days.

A kiss for the sake of a kiss would have been one thing, and she didn’t think anything ill would come of it. But a kiss born of the emotions she was beginning to feel for Shane was a different matter. She might not be able to just leave with a memory of him. She could possibly want more. And as she was destined to leave and he was destined to stay, it wouldn’t work between them. It could only ever be temporary.

Nay. This was better, to stay apart from Shane, as it meant no risk of something happening that would lead down a treacherous path. To make sure she didn’t drift into dangerous territory, she planned to stay clear of the man. At least until she was certain she could keep him at a proper distance.

A friend and nothing more.

With that settled, she must have dozed off for a time, because she was woken by the sound of her uncle stumbling into the shack. He hadn’t been home for supper, and Doran had mentioned his da had been paid for their work in the peat fields. She’d been with them long enough to know what that meant.

She winced at the sound of a loud smack followed by a wailing cry. Jumping to her feet, she found Wee Robbie on the ground, curled into a ball as his father stood over him yelling. She looked around for the other two boys, but they were nowhere to be found. Hiding, no doubt, the little cowards. Didn’t they realize the three of them would’ve been able to overpower their drunken father and save their wee brother? Apparently, saving the child fell on her. She would step up to defend him. She wouldn’t look away while a child was beaten.

“Uncle, please. Whatever ye think Robbie has done, I’m sure we can take care of it in the morning. You are tired and should lie down. Things will be better tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? How will they be better tomorrow? I still have no wife to warm my bed. No mother to my children.” He waved toward the boy crying on the floor and thrust his hand out when he started to tip over.